Thoughts on the Sandy Hook Aftermath and Moving Forward

I haven’t cried yet. I will soon…Sometimes it just takes time. The tragedy was terrible, awful, horrific. I have a six year old son, I feel the pain. When I sent him to school on Monday I hugged him a little longer—and I changed our daily prayer by adding “Lord, will you please fill my Ky’s class and school with peace. Let them enjoy this day fully.” Afterwards, out of earshot, I asked the Lord to protect him and all the children today. It has been hard, playing the normal when the abnormal has happened. My first responsibility is of course to God—but my second is to my family, and right now my focus lies on protecting him. I don’t feel I need to protect him from any crazy mass murderers. The likelihood of that happening to any one person is slim to none (thank the Lord). However I am currently protecting my son from the news, society, and honestly—I am wondering if I need to be protecting him from some friends and acquaintances. Not to say that they would intentionally hurt my child, but hasty judgments, emotionally driven words, and self-serving decisions are what concerns me. It takes a village to raise a child. These are words to live by, and yet many of us fail to believe that that is our reality. I cannot raise my child alone. I rely on help from friends, family, teachers, doctors, and even strangers. I am becoming scared of this village—not the Adam Lanza’s, but of how our village is reacting to the “Adam Lanzas”. Gun sales were at a record high this past weekend. This scares me. I have heard numerous people tell me that “if only the teachers or the principal had guns this wouldn’t have happened or it wouldn’t have been as bad.” As a school teacher I can only say—what a horrifying thought!? That a gun would be in my (or any) classroom? A gun does not make me feel safe, it only makes me scared that the wrong hands will get it. Many more guns are stolen every year than used to protect someone. And do you think the person stealing that weapon has good intentions with it? Remember, Adam Lanza STOLE those guns from his mother! Which makes me wonder, could this have been prevented if she did not have weapons in her home?! Obviously, no one will ever know if that would have prevented this, but it at least would have been more difficult for him to do this act. One of the mottos in Christianity is WWJD? (What would Jesus do?) I often use this motto to help me figure out what the best solution would be. And I feel it often leads me to the right answer. So let’s put Jesus into the equation at Sandy Hook Elementary. What would have Jesus done at Sandy Hook? Well, I can promise that he would not have had a gun. Jesus was non-violent and never had a weapon. In fact what did he do with crazy people? He called out the demons that were haunting them and healed them. Jesus got to the ROOT of the problem! So how do we get to the root of the problem? It’s complicated, but at the same time I think the solution is quite simple – moral responsibility and village support. It is our responsibility to take care of those who are sick. I understand that many people will not agree with me—but Biblically this cannot be argued. And even if you are not a Christian—the fact is—when people are sick around you it does affect you. Adam Lanza was clearly mentally ill and he affected those in his community—people who did not even know him. Just think of how this could have been changed had his sickness been properly addressed earlier. In my time teaching, I have made numerous reports on children who clearly needed help. Some were given additional help. Others were “lost” in the system. There wasn’t enough time to fit them in the schedule and not enough money to hire more social workers, therapists, etc… Instead we just ignore the signs that something is wrong because we cannot afford to investigate any further into the incident (and often we feel ignoring is an easier solution.) We cannot put a price tag on those lives that were lost on Friday. And yet, we put a price tag on the resources that could have prevented such incidents, saying it is “out of budget.” Today (five days after the incident), I called our local Christian radio station that I listen to daily. I called to ask them to please STOP using the words “shooting at the elementary school” and “deaths of these children” on the radio. I figured it was a very understandable request. Their station motto is “Safe for the Whole Family.” I kept turning the radio station off this past weekend to keep my son from hearing about the incident. He is 6 years old. He should not have to worry about being shot at school and I also feel that he is too young to be exposed to such violence. I found myself arguing with the Radio Host because of his choice in words. He saw the importance of keeping the town lifted in prayer (which I TOTALLY agree with), but he did not feel that he could change the wording. I asked him if he could use the words “tragedy in Connecticut” or even “shooting in Connecticut” but simply PLEASE leave out the words "children" and "school" as my son does not need to be aware of such horrors when he is so young and vulnerable. My moral responsibility to my son is to protect his heart and mind from things that are not good for him. These are formative years and his focus should be on becoming the blessing God has made him to be. My point to this is that our children are exposed too early on to violence. It has become a norm in movies, music, and video games. I know of many people who allow their young children (5 & 6 year olds) to watch PG-13 movies without a second thought. Or allow their children to play violent video games where their mission is to shoot people—and while young ones may not be playing these games, many see their older siblings (or parents) doing it. What’s even scarier is how REAL these games appear! They look like real people and their victims’ blood is splattered by THEIR hands. While these acts are against the law and our beliefs, we let them watch it or play it. How conflicted these young minds must feel!? (And what about those minds that are already mentally unstable!) Morally we have a responsibility to protect our children from these things and yet we don’t. We continue to support companies who produce these violent pieces of media and we say nothing. I am not saying that these things are the cause of this incident--however, I do feel that our lack of village support and moral responsibility to the children in our nation has played a large part. The blood of those children is on Adam Lanza’s hands--yes, but at the same time the blood of Adam Lanza lays in our hands. Perhaps this could have been something we could have prevented through counseling, sheltering, and above all loving. It’s not a simple solution—to go out of our way to help others—to donate time, services, money, attention, and love. But doesn’t it sound like a better solution than carrying around a gun “just in case?” Because carrying a gun just in case is NOT a long-term solution, it is a reaction. At best, more people carrying guns might (and I emphasize “might”) prevent or lessen another tragedy like this, but it does not address the root cause. It will not stop this from happening again with different people. We need some changes and only you and I can make that difference. I know that you are torn by this tragedy, just as I am. All I am asking is that you simply step back and look at the whole picture. The problem is SO much bigger than gun ownership and use. It’s about us and the actions we choose to make toward our family, friends, neighbors, and community moving forward.