Grandma Audrey O. Herbst 1924 - 2008

Grandma Herbst passed on Saturday, December 20 from complications of a stroke.

We were very sad to see her go. We had previously arranged with her a visit on Saturday, December 20 so she could meet Alaina for the first time. If you recall from earlier blogs, Alaina’s middle name is Autumn which is the English definition of Herbst. That is how we came about giving her that name. Grandma Herbst had no grandchildren to pass down the Herbst name, so we thought it would be a neat way to honor the Herbst name by giving it to Alaina. Kylan and Alaina are her only great grandchildren. (This is Rob’s Grandma.)

On Friday, December 12, we received a phone call from Uncle Tom that Grandma had suffered a stroke and it did not look good. We drove to Chicago the next day to come and visit her. She was on a respirator and did not look like her herself. We were told that she was unconscious (had not regained consciousness after the stroke), but she probably could hear us.
Rob went in to see her first, while I fed Alaina. Then, we all went in. It was clear to us that she was responding to some of what was said and she knew we were there. At one point when Kylan spoke to her she opened one of her eyes briefly. She also squeezed Robby’s hand in the beginning. This was not how we wanted Grandma to meet Alaina, but at least it was a chance for her to know that Alaina was there—and to hear some of her cooing and baby squeaks.

The doctor said that if Grandma did not regain consciousness in 48 hours, she would most likely pass soon. However, if she did regain consciousness, it would be a very rough recovery for her.

We kept in contact with the relatives the following week to find out how Grandma was doing. She never regained consciousness, so the decision was made to remove the respirator and let God take over from there. The respirator was removed on Tuesday, and on Friday we decided to use the weekend to visit her again before she passed. We are very glad we did.

There was little to no response this time when we visited. I noticed some shaking of her arm, but did not know if that was constant or if perhaps she knew we were there. We are glad we went. Alaina cooed for her and Ky made some funnies—you know how 2-year-olds babble. I hope that if she heard us, it did bring her comfort to know we were there. A few hours after we left we were told that she had passed on.

With Christmas, funeral planning was difficult. However, it was decided that the funeral and visitation would take place on Tuesday the 23rd. Rob and I were glad that we would be able to attend both (if they had been on separate days it would have been harder to travel with the kids.) And then the weather hit. Have I mentioned we are having a record breaking snowy December? So yes—another 9 -12” snowstorm hit early Tuesday morning. The roads were terrible and the interstate backed up, so we were unable to attend. We were both very bummed. Rob, as the only grandchild, was especially sad to not be able to attend the funeral of his grandmother.

We were able to attend the burial on Friday, December 26. The burial was in Thiensville—near Milwaukee. So at least we were able to attend that.

Rob's brief section: A big memory of Grandma was her fabulous cooking. Apple pancakes in the morning were my absolute favorite thing she made. Even though she was getting older, she did make them once when Jess and I both stayed there so Jess knew what I was always going on about. I also remember how, as a little boy, she would serve me lunch in the mud room at a little desk on a silver bread platter. Grandma also knew that I loved chocolate milk when I was little and it was a big treat. So every time I came to visit (even into my teens), she always had chocolate milk there. With Grandma being such a good cook, I think food was a big way for her to show love. I think that a major way she would show how much she loved me was to always make special meals and spoil me with treats when I was little, because it was something she did so well. I also remember Grandma being very proper when I was young - she always wore dresses. But as she got a little older, she lightened up and started wearing pants around the house. I still remember the first time I visited and she was wearing pants (don't remember how old I was though)! Grandma also hated when I had long hair in college. She would always harrass me (lovingly) about it and threaten to cut it. Actually, I used to have a tail in the back of my hair in elementary school, and she didn't like that either. Saying goodbye to Grandma is also goodbye to their house, since Grandpa has moved into a nursing home. They lived in the same house for my entire life, so all my memories of them are there. One sentimental thing is a little rocking chair in the basement. When I was little enought to sit in it, I would pull up next to Grandpa’s big rocking chair and sit with him when we watched something on TV.

Back to Jess: My memories were more of Grandma’s desire for me to feel like her granddaughter. She really wanted to make sure that I knew that in marriage I was now also hers. I loved her stories of how they would apple pick every year—and keep the apples in the cooler in the garage and they would last all winter long and be just as fresh. I always liked the way she would raise her eyebrows and her eyes would get big when she was telling us something good or a little surprise that she had for us—this would also usually involve a clasping of the hands.

She adored Kylan. She would always say “He is something else!” She would get down on her hands and knees with him on the floor to play. She always remarked on how smart he was and a fine looking boy. Her eyes would light up at the sight of him. She really doted on him and made sure to show him off (took him to the local drug store) when we were in town. She bought him this bear dressed in train conductor gear that sings—Ky still loves this bear and plays the songs often.

It’s sad that distance played a large role in us not being as close as we would have liked. I am especially sad that she was unable to meet Alaina.

Ironically, Christmas was Grandma’s favorite holiday. She loved Santa—and had many decorations. It is neat to think that she was able to join Jesus in heaven for his birthday and we were also able to celebrate Christmas with her in this way.
It was a hard Christmas for all of us—but at the same time, we will never have a Christmas and not think about her—what better time to remember and cherish your family. We love you Grandma and will see you soon!

http://www.legacy.com/dailyherald/Obituaries.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=121704247

Big Kids

It's official--Alaina has outgrown most of her 0 - 3 month clothes *sniff, sniff*. She is a big girl. At her two month checkup she weighed 13 lbs 2 oz (94% for weight) and 24.25" (84%) height. What's really funny is that at the same age Ky was almost a pound heavier than her and 2 inches shorter! He was a really ROUND child!

As usual tons of pics this time around. I LOVE digital cameras! It helps me capture so many great memories--and yeah it is out all the time!

So the first pics are of Alaina in her baptismal gown--I promised them last blog and there they are. Isn't she beautiful! I told her the next time she will be wearing all white may be her wedding.

The next pics are of my beautiful car :(

Sir Lancelot (aka Lance) is no longer a member of our family. I loved that car! So here is the scoop. About a year ago Rob and I had been talking about purchasing a larger vehicle for the family come Spring. We knew that we were going to be preparing for a second child and just needed something larger to accommodate 2 adults, 2 car seats, and a 60 lb dog. Camping was going to be out of the question with our sedans once Alaina got here. So the spring came and gas prices soared (remember $4.00/gallon?) That's when Rob and I talked and we decided we would wait until the coming spring to purchase a vehicle (after all we wouldn't be camping until at least the next summer). The waiting was a way for us to save the extra gas $$ by keeping 2 sedans--we were also thinking *hoping* maybe hybrids might come down in price yet??!!

Alaina presented herself to the family in late Sept, and I began driving again in mid-October. I had not realized how difficult my life would be--getting in and out of the car with a toddler and an infant in a car seat. If you don't remember my car--it was the bare basics. Manual locks/windows, etc... So the process of getting in the car was opening the driver door, then reaching back to unlock the passenger door and then getting one of the kids in...and then going around to the other side of the vehicle and doing the same. Notice that when I am putting one kid in the car, I would have to let go or put down the other kid in the process. This was a little scary--especially if Ky didn't always listen and started wandering off (which rarely happened--he was usually very good at staying next to me), or putting Alaina's car seat on the ground. What was especially scary was when there was a vacant parking spot on either side of my vehicle, because then I had to worry that a car might turn into the spot and not see either of my children next to my car. ARGH! Can you sense the tension?! It really was worrisome. And even more so I was worrying about the winter weather and cars sliding or children falling....It just wasn't worth it. So at the beginning of November I told Rob I wanted the new vehicle before winter. Saving gas money just wasn't worth the lives of my children or the stress I was dealing with--trying to get them in the car. (What did people do with their children and cars prior to automatic locks?--see how modernization has spoiled us!)

Thus we began looking. I had done a little research of my own and so had Rob. I was thinking minivan at this point, he was thinking SUV. The only reason I was thinking minivan is because they were roomier--and had better gas mileage--though I personally like the look of an SUV much better. It didn't take much work to convince Rob--just had to show him some numbers and then have him actually look at the size of a Highlander vs. Sienna, etc...

In November, we were also blessed by Rob's company. Apparently Toyota had a special offer to all AmFam employees to purchase their vehicles at invoice price. We did look at other vehicles, but that deal pretty much got us set on getting the Sienna. We did a little back n' forth game between the 2 dealerships in town and got ourselves a very nice van for a very nice price with a few extra perks thrown in. Oh yeah--a lot of people ask...we did look at used, but found that we were only going to save a thousand or two dollars to get a new used (we wanted something with less than 30,000 miles on it) so it just didn't seem worth it. Might as well get a car with a clean history, no worries of prior smokers, or abuse, and a full manufacturer warranty.

So I just need to recap my goodbye to Lance. First of all--the history of Lance. In college my car was going kaput. It just was having problem after problem and I wasn't feeling like it was worth putting money in to anymore. So I started car shopping. I did some shopping on my own and some with my Uncle. In August of 1997, I found Lance's brother on the lot of a Saturn dealership. He was a very affordable car that I could lease and then buy if I chose to 5 years later. I was only a poor college student so I was very concerned with committing myself to such a big purchase. My big brother Joel agreed to cosign with me though. On my way to the dealership, I prayed for God to give me a sign that I was doing the right thing, minutes later smoke started coming out of my glove compartment--hence God saying "Get the new car!"

I was diligent with that lease and took good care of Lance. What a great car! Who would have thought that at 19 I would be able to afford the car and college. God really blessed me. In 2002 my lease was up and I was given the option to buy or turn it in. I did some car shopping, but in the end I found it well worth my money to purchase Lance (he only had 50,000) miles at the time. When I told the dealership that I wanted to buy Lance, they were flabbergasted. Apparently, I was the first person to ever buy out my lease--and in turn they made a mistake and sold him to me much cheaper than they should have (the salesman got reprimanded by the manager.)

Back to the present...We were going to trade Lance in for credit at the dealership, but they offered us very little. We went home that night and said a prayer, "God give us a sign if this is what you want us to do." I put Lance up on Craigslist that night before I went to bed. By noon the next day I had 5 responses to my ad, by 2:30 my car was sold to the first scheduled appointment, for almost twice what the dealership was going to give us. And even better, she paid us ahead of time and told us she would be back in several days to pick it up. This gave me time to say goodbye to Lance, as well as gave us time to finish our negotiating with the dealerships and purchase our van. I would also like to say that this girl who bought my car was also a Saturn lover (her car had recently been hit and that was why she was looking for another one.) I know she will take good care of Lance. So the first pic of Lance is the one I put on Craig's list. The second picture is my last day with Lance. Sadly Lance had to stay outside the night before (the new van took his spot in the garage) that is why he had frost all over him. What a great car! I pray that he may be as much of a blessing to her as he was to me. So that is my sad car/happy van story.

Other pics...

The other pics we have are of T'giving. We went to Pops and Debi and had somewhat a potluck type meal. Debi had had a mild heart attack about a month ago, so us kids decided we would take care of a majority of the meal so she could relax. It sort of worked. All the sides were ready by 5:30, but the turkey wasn't ready until 6:30. Next time we will need to coordinate a little better. Ky had an awesome time. Pops put up one of his train tracks so Ky was so excited to watch the train go. The boy loves trains! At T'giving a lot of the family got to meet Alaina for the first time as well, so that was exciting and why I have so many pics of her with different family members.

The next day Jared and his fiancee, Deb, stopped by the house. Ky was so excited to see Uncle Jared. He was a non-stop chatterbox. "this is my chair, and this is my dog, this is my baby sister Alaina--she cries..." Wow! He just kept going. It was good to see them and even more fun to get the proposal and wedding details. Rob was honored by being asked to be the best man. And we are all very excited about our trip this summer to Springfield, Missouri for the wedding. And we have already been talking about turning it into our camping trip. Camping in the Ozarks! How fun!

The next morning we all enjoyed Robby's pumpkin pancakes before Jared and Deb hit the road.

We will see them soon again come June!

After Jared & Deb left we were scheduled to have a T'giving meal at Jan's mom's house. However, Ky suddenly spiked with fever so we had to cancel. We had a wave of illness hit the family that week---Daddy got it--and even Alaina appeared to have a mild case. I, fortunately, avoided the "cold" though and listened to everyone else's snorting and coughing--ugh!

The last pic is of Ky in his bubble bath--which he loves now..The boy has been using up all my fragrant and yummy bubbles---I gotta buy him some of his own. He loves sticking the bubbles all over his face though...I think he likes the feeling of them as they pop. He is so funny!

The brave two-year-old: Ky got his flu shot the other day. I have really thought a lot about honesty with my children. I want them to know that what I say is true. So Ky and I went together to the clinic to get the flu shot. I explained to him that he was going to get a poke in his leg and it was going to hurt BUT it would keep him from getting sick later--so the shot is a very good thing. You should have seen my little boy--he was so brave. I had them administer the flu shot to me first so Ky could watch and see what was going to happen. They then gave it to him. He didn't even cry! He was so brave! What a great little boy. Afterwards he said thank you and we went home. Now one of his favorite games is to play "poke" where he gives you a shot and then puts a bandaid on it. I am so proud of him! Honesty does pay off afterall...

A few other things about Ky--his mispronounciations of words are just hilarious. And then if you mock him in mispronouncing a word--he tries to correct you--but still misponounces it! HA HA! He tends to put "tw" in the front of a lot of words---for example he likes to eat "Twackers & milk". Boy--am I going to miss these days....

My last thoughts to this blog....

In highschool, I discovered one of thes secrets to life---and let me say that it has taken many years for me to really apply & put this secret to practice in my life--but I am feeling pretty good these days.

So this secret in life "You get out of life what you put in." And I mean this quite literally. In highschool I was a very depressed teenager--and one day I decided that I was going to pretend to be cheerful....and by the end of the day I was actually feeling pretty good. This became the solution to my "down" days. I can honestly say that I RARELY have a depressed day--due to this secret in life...and I know depression runs in my family! What an awesome solution--However I have really began to expand on my secret--and I have to say the good Lord and my children have spurred me on to do so. I have cut crappy tv shows and music out of my life--and first of all let me say how much lighter my load feels. There really is a lot of CRAP on tv and in music. Why do I want to watch murders or love affairs? Does this make me feel good about myself or the world? Do I want my children to think that this is normal or acceptable behavior? And what about music? Do I want to listen to music that makes me feel like this world is a lousy place to live in? Do I want to listen to people slander others?

I also have to say that taking this CRAP out of my life has made me more sensitive to the strength and impact that each one of our voices has. I subbed at a high school the other day--and wow was I sad when I left. Such a negative atmosphere. The kids were putting each other (and me) down all day. Why do we do this to ourselves? No wonder teen depression and suicide rate is so high. I can say that in my classroom (when I taught) I did not allow foul language or the putting down of others--however I could not control this outside of my classroom. And when you are a sub--it is very difficult for you to have any control of these situations. But WOW! I am glad I have cut this CRAP out of my life and I am not exposing my children to any of this. I also realize now how important it is for me to build my children up and protect them from this CRAP in their young and delicate years.

One final note about this...I am writing about this because I heard a study the other day on violence & negativity on tv & in music and the negative impact it is having on kids. The jist of the study was that kids who were exposed to violence on tv were more likely to become violent and/or depressed. It also mentioned that children's shows have an extremely high amount of violence in them and often in the shows the violence is not justified.

Just goes to show when you put "Good things in you get good things out."--so I will continue to protect my children as long as possible from the crap that is out there as well as myself.

Have a great day--and spread the cheer! We all need a little more happiness in our lives!

Alaina's Baptism

My little girl is growing up so fast. Less and less is she doing the "back arch, stretch and curled up knees" position when you pick her up. *Sigh* I would love for her to stay a newborn, but at the same time there is so much to look forward to. I am still wondering if she will be this raven-haired girl with Rob's beautiful blue eyes. She still has dark hair so far, surprisingly, she has stopped losing it (or drastically slowed down) though I can still see blonde peeking through underneath. Her eye color is still also questionable. They aren't the slate grey they were anymore, but they do appear to have blue and brown in them. Only time will tell....which of course means--- she has to grow up. *Sigh*

Oherwise, this little girl talks A LOT! Tons of cooing and just blabbing. The other day she sang with Kylan and I to "Old MacDonald." (I SWEAR!) Ky never cooed or talked this much this early on. It is incredible!

Alaina's baptism was on Nov 16th. It was actually a bit chaotic. Alaina nursed a bit longer than expected prior to church, so by the time we were ready to walk into church, the music was already beginning. I found Rob, but the Godparents (my brother Joel & and his wife Jamie) were MIA. At our church the baptism normally happens after the first song or two--so I was a bit panicked. I told Rob to go find them while I got Alaina prepared. Then I noticed Kylan was missing. ARGH! So Rob found Joel & Jamie and then I sent him to find Ky--but luckily Nana & G'ma Jan were bringing him in by then. --Can't you just sense the tension!? Too often my life feels like this---but I guess it does keep things interesting! :)

The baptism went great. Our Pastor handed Ky the baptismal candle to hold (yes I know--very scary! We had no idea he was going to do that.) Ky did pretty well holding it though and Daddy helped. The pastor then told us that the candle was to remind us of Alaina's baptism and how she is to be a light of the world. He then told Kylan that his sister was the light of the world and he was to help her become so. Then the pastor asked Kylan to say that his sister was the light of the world. Ky's response, "She is the light of the world and she is a baby and she wears diapers!" (No joke that was his response!) How funny!

During the actual baptism, Alaina was awake and she didn't cry! YEAH! Always a little scary when someone holds your head over a big bowl of water. We were very proud of both kids--particularly Ky for not setting anything on fire :) After the baptism we came home and had a nice brunch with the family. I am sorry it all ended so soon as it was a good time to visit with family members we don't see enough of.

So I added pics of my two latest crafts. After my first pair of slippers I made a second pair. They came out pretty cute too....I just want to perfect the seams on the sides before I try to sell any. I am going to try one more pair out of sweater material. We will see how it goes... The other craft is Alaina's baptism gown. Yup, I made it. I couldn't bring myself to spend $40+ on a dress she was going to wear once. I spent about $6 on the dress I made her. The material is a cotton with embroidary on it that I already had. I had bought it at a "going out of business sale" at Hancock fabrics intending to make a skirt for myself. However, the baptism was a perfect use for it. I used a retro 1950's pattern for it. (99 cent sale at JoAnne's). The pattern was pretty easy over all and I am already envisioning other dresses I can make for her with it. The only downside of the pattern was the neckline. I had to adjust it and make my own pattern for a collar because the one in the pattern was almost doll-sized (ridiculous--did babies in the 50's really have a neck with a 7 inch circumference?!) Oh and I also adjusted the length to make it more of a true baptismal gown. Not too bad for a pattern...

Let's get to the pics....

Ky is working on dressing himself. He is actually doing very well--so the one picture of him is his head stuck in his shirt. FUNNY! He is very good about putting on underwear and pants by himself, but shirts are still a strugggle. As long as I put them on over his head he can do the rest. Not too shabby for a two-year-old :)

Speaking of which (I know, I am off-topic--but it's my blog and I am allowed to do so), I have been really struggling with dealing with Kylan lately. The boy is very mature for his age and sometimes I know I am expecting more out of him than he is capable of (or ready for). I think with the added stress of another kid, I am just wanting him to be more independent on so much. Even Rob gets stuck in this rut. I have to remind myself--he is just 2! I NEED to make sure I am taking the time to teach him things--and not just expect things out of him. For example, I OFTEN get very frustrated when he doesn't keep up with me. I need to remember that 1. his legs are much shorter than mine and 2. this world is just a giant playground to him--everything is new---and so distracting. While I may have seen it before and it is all 0ld-hat to me (Does that terminology make me sound old or what?), everything is brand new to Ky and he is trying to figure out what things are and remember them for future use. He really is learning every step of the way. How selfish of me! ARGH!!! Here I am trying to rush him and he is just trying to make sense of this big world. I wish there was no such thing as time. Perhaps then I could walk at the leisure pace of a 2 year old and also learn things. ARGH!! Don't you just sense the frustration. I am working on it though--and am really praying for guidance. Ky --I am so sorry bud, but this parenting thing is also a big learning adventure. I am sorry I get mad at you, and I raise my voice. I am really not mad at you, I am just mad at the timed world we are bound to--and sadly you will learn all too soon about this terrible concept of "time". Okay enough of that...back to the pics..

Alaina now LOVES baths. It is funny how they don't like them at first and then they really enjoy them. Speaking of which--a bath to Kylan is like a vacation. HE LOVES IT! Especially since his Auntie Wendy got him Thomas the Train bath toys. OH YEAH! And now he has recently discovered the joys of bubble baths. I need to buy him some of his own bubbles---he is using all my nice stuff...but he does smell good afterwards. Ahhhh--roses! :)

So funnies from Kylan...

Kylan told me he had a baby in his tummy and his name was Jose. Yes this was random and out of the blue. It was very funny at the time.

He misuses the word "easy." And I have no idea what word he wants to use. For example, I give him a blanket after he asks for one--he then says "I don't want that one--It's too easy..." Hmmm....

Kylan knows that he has a penis. Yes we taught him the technical term. He asked and we didn't want to give him slang terminology. So now he goes around and he asks--do they have a penis, does he have a penis....and yes he does this openly in stores, at church, etc....Yeah a little embarassing to us, but you really can't explain to him at this age that there is a time and a place for asking this stuff. And yeah--he knows that Alaina and I don't have one and has occasionally asked what we have. So far I have avoided telling him. I really don't need him going around pointing to people saying "Does he/she have a penis or vagina?" I hope this phase ends soon....

Okay that is all for now. The next blog I will have add'l pics of Alaina in her baptismal gown and I will have Turkey day pics. Until then!