Grandma Herbst passed on Saturday, December 20 from complications of a stroke.
We were very sad to see her go. We had previously arranged with her a visit on Saturday, December 20 so she could meet Alaina for the first time. If you recall from earlier blogs, Alaina’s middle name is Autumn which is the English definition of Herbst. That is how we came about giving her that name. Grandma Herbst had no grandchildren to pass down the Herbst name, so we thought it would be a neat way to honor the Herbst name by giving it to Alaina. Kylan and Alaina are her only great grandchildren. (This is Rob’s Grandma.)
On Friday, December 12, we received a phone call from Uncle Tom that Grandma had suffered a stroke and it did not look good. We drove to Chicago the next day to come and visit her. She was on a respirator and did not look like her herself. We were told that she was unconscious (had not regained consciousness after the stroke), but she probably could hear us.
Rob went in to see her first, while I fed Alaina. Then, we all went in. It was clear to us that she was responding to some of what was said and she knew we were there. At one point when Kylan spoke to her she opened one of her eyes briefly. She also squeezed Robby’s hand in the beginning. This was not how we wanted Grandma to meet Alaina, but at least it was a chance for her to know that Alaina was there—and to hear some of her cooing and baby squeaks.
The doctor said that if Grandma did not regain consciousness in 48 hours, she would most likely pass soon. However, if she did regain consciousness, it would be a very rough recovery for her.
We kept in contact with the relatives the following week to find out how Grandma was doing. She never regained consciousness, so the decision was made to remove the respirator and let God take over from there. The respirator was removed on Tuesday, and on Friday we decided to use the weekend to visit her again before she passed. We are very glad we did.
There was little to no response this time when we visited. I noticed some shaking of her arm, but did not know if that was constant or if perhaps she knew we were there. We are glad we went. Alaina cooed for her and Ky made some funnies—you know how 2-year-olds babble. I hope that if she heard us, it did bring her comfort to know we were there. A few hours after we left we were told that she had passed on.
With Christmas, funeral planning was difficult. However, it was decided that the funeral and visitation would take place on Tuesday the 23rd. Rob and I were glad that we would be able to attend both (if they had been on separate days it would have been harder to travel with the kids.) And then the weather hit. Have I mentioned we are having a record breaking snowy December? So yes—another 9 -12” snowstorm hit early Tuesday morning. The roads were terrible and the interstate backed up, so we were unable to attend. We were both very bummed. Rob, as the only grandchild, was especially sad to not be able to attend the funeral of his grandmother.
We were able to attend the burial on Friday, December 26. The burial was in Thiensville—near Milwaukee. So at least we were able to attend that.
Rob's brief section: A big memory of Grandma was her fabulous cooking. Apple pancakes in the morning were my absolute favorite thing she made. Even though she was getting older, she did make them once when Jess and I both stayed there so Jess knew what I was always going on about. I also remember how, as a little boy, she would serve me lunch in the mud room at a little desk on a silver bread platter. Grandma also knew that I loved chocolate milk when I was little and it was a big treat. So every time I came to visit (even into my teens), she always had chocolate milk there. With Grandma being such a good cook, I think food was a big way for her to show love. I think that a major way she would show how much she loved me was to always make special meals and spoil me with treats when I was little, because it was something she did so well. I also remember Grandma being very proper when I was young - she always wore dresses. But as she got a little older, she lightened up and started wearing pants around the house. I still remember the first time I visited and she was wearing pants (don't remember how old I was though)! Grandma also hated when I had long hair in college. She would always harrass me (lovingly) about it and threaten to cut it. Actually, I used to have a tail in the back of my hair in elementary school, and she didn't like that either. Saying goodbye to Grandma is also goodbye to their house, since Grandpa has moved into a nursing home. They lived in the same house for my entire life, so all my memories of them are there. One sentimental thing is a little rocking chair in the basement. When I was little enought to sit in it, I would pull up next to Grandpa’s big rocking chair and sit with him when we watched something on TV.
Back to Jess: My memories were more of Grandma’s desire for me to feel like her granddaughter. She really wanted to make sure that I knew that in marriage I was now also hers. I loved her stories of how they would apple pick every year—and keep the apples in the cooler in the garage and they would last all winter long and be just as fresh. I always liked the way she would raise her eyebrows and her eyes would get big when she was telling us something good or a little surprise that she had for us—this would also usually involve a clasping of the hands.
She adored Kylan. She would always say “He is something else!” She would get down on her hands and knees with him on the floor to play. She always remarked on how smart he was and a fine looking boy. Her eyes would light up at the sight of him. She really doted on him and made sure to show him off (took him to the local drug store) when we were in town. She bought him this bear dressed in train conductor gear that sings—Ky still loves this bear and plays the songs often.
It’s sad that distance played a large role in us not being as close as we would have liked. I am especially sad that she was unable to meet Alaina.
Ironically, Christmas was Grandma’s favorite holiday. She loved Santa—and had many decorations. It is neat to think that she was able to join Jesus in heaven for his birthday and we were also able to celebrate Christmas with her in this way.
It was a hard Christmas for all of us—but at the same time, we will never have a Christmas and not think about her—what better time to remember and cherish your family. We love you Grandma and will see you soon!
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