The Secret part two

These last two months have just been dragging by.


You know I realize now that I didn't really blog much of my pregnancy with Ky. So with this baby I am going to try to blog more of the pregnancy...


I still have yet to have a day where my stomach has felt like itself. It is really quite freaky. I have to be careful because if I get too hungry I really start to feel sick--but then at the same time I don't want to overeat. I have missed or left events multiple times the past two months because I have felt so ill. I even called Rob to come home early one day from work because the nausea just came on me so quickly and strongly. 3 More weeks and they say I should be better!



Ky has also managed to pass the flu on to me twice this winter. And yes I got the flu shot and so did he. I am tired and blah!!! Let me just say--that I may get sick but I rarely get SICK! In the last decade of my life I have kneeled before the porcelin once--but let me clarify that was not due to an illness. This winter I have kneeled more times than I would care to say.


I apologize for all the friends and family that I have been short with or have just not been myself around. My emails, blog entries, and phone calls have really fallen behind. They of course have no clue what I am going through. I keep telling myself 3 more weeks...At the same time it is hard to believe that I am at week 10.



I realized the other day I have not taken one picture of Kylan so far this month. I don't know how to do the next normal blog entry. oh well. Nothing has been on track this month.


Well emotions are kicking in now. I am becoming explosive at times and short tempered. Ky and I did not get along so well today. It doesn't help when both of us are tired and cranky and Dad is gone all day due to work and classes. (Ky is getting over an ear infection.) I put him to bed early. I couldn't take it anymore. Tomorrow is a new day. Hopefully all will be better.

Oh yeah---8 week appointment. So it appeared that after I gained weight, I lost it all by week 8--go figure. Nothing specatular happened at the appointment. I was told not to play soccer though--and I was also told to try to shove things down even when I feel bad. I have had a lot of dizzy spells and the nurse told me it is because of my calorie decrease. So since then I have been shoving down more foods--and I have to say I feel less dizzy and the nausea is a little better. I think I have also gained a little weight back.

next day...

Rob and I went to the baby's first ultrasound. Little Jessicob was standing on his/her head. It was very cute. The baby then waved one of it's tiny hands at us. A whopping 3.4 cm long--mostly head--this baby is going to be as smart as Ky. Amazing. The little heart was beating so fast. 160 beats a minute. This is when it really starts to sink in and you want to tell people. Ahh....I will post a picture in the reveal blog. Congrats me--I'm a mommy again. Right now I can not think of a more incredible purpose.

BTW--a little side note. I had to drink 32 ounces of water before this appointment and boy did I have to go. In fact the ultrasound lady made me go because my bladder was so big it was hard to see the baby in the uterus. She said--only pee about a cup though! Yeah--you try to control it when you have to go so bad.

That's all for now...

January Birthdays and such

Long time no post---

So most all pics are from Lisa and Ryan's b'day party at Bucca's at the end of January. We had a great time. And even better, some extended family came (cousin Pete and his daughter Jessica) from California. Uncle Charlie passed a few days prior so they were in town for the funeral and joined us for dinner...

IT was sad to see Uncle Charlie go, but it was expected. He was battling Alzheimer's and just wasn't himself anymore. Uncle Charlie is G'ma Bucky's brother. I will always remember U. Charlie as a very loving man with a great sense of humor. Him and Debi shared a very close relationship--and I know it tore her up to lose him.

Okay--time for my favorite U. Charlie story. I believe it was Easter, and G'ma Bucky was once again talking about how she had lost *50* lbs in the last couple of weeks. U. Charlie turned to her and said "Hey Jenny, I know how you can lose weight fast." And she turned to him and said "Yeah--How do I do that?" And with the straightest face you ever saw he said "You chop off your head!" Ahhhh-- a priceless U. Charlie moment. And the look on G'ma Bucky's face I will never forget. The love between a brother and a sister.

Anyway, we haven't done a whole lot the last month. The weather has been terrible and we often feel penned inside. If it isn't below zero here, it has been snowing--and I mean snowing, 6 inches to a foot at a time. We have already broken Madison's all time snow record and are 10" beyond it--and we have a good month of snow potential days left. Ky hasn't gotten out a whole lot either. The pics above are a rare moment when it was actually warm--and of course snowing.

He loves the snow. He just sits there and eats it. Something his father taught him to do. Sometimes he falls over in the snow and can't get up (too many layers.) This is funny---you will then here a muffled "help pwease!" until you get him up.

We did go sledding once at a church retreat. Ky had a lot of fun for about half of the runs. The other runs he didn't like so much. I think he got annoyed if snow kicked up in his face and I think he wanted to have more time to eat snow.

Rob and I had a nice get away last week at a bed and breakfast. We went to see the Madison Symphony Orchestra and had a nice dinner at a little french restaurant that turned your food into works of art. It was a good get away--but of course got cut short because of an ice storm....The Roads were really badly flooded and even today there are still really bad patches of ice where your car can't grip the road.

Our kitchen is almost done. We just need to pick out back splash and do some touch up painting. It has come a long way. I am starting to move my decorating back up stairs. We still need to finish the office and our bedroom. We will see how far we get before the weather gets nicer. Ohhhh I miss the feeling of dirt in my hands. I miss listening to the snap of my peas as I pick them and the freshness of my sun kissed produce. Can you believe green peppers are 75 cents each right now! Outrageous! I need my garden. And Ky needs to get out of the house and play. I hope to teach him some basic gardening this summer.

Assuming the roads aren't terrible, Ky and I do get out pretty much every day. Between story time at the library, playgroup, open gym, my job at the Y, and walking club we keep pretty busy--but it still makes you stir crazy for the warm weather---or just to take a simple walk outside. BTW--Ky is awesome at story time at the library. He is so little and yet sits so well and listens to the books and gets excited for the songs. And currently at craft time he is the last kid to leave. I have to hide the crayons so we can go. You never saw such an intriguing 20 month old. The Librarian is very impressed with him. He loves the librarian. Last week he gave her a giant hug.

Ky continues to astound me. He is just so smart and understands so well. He is also a parrot. he will now say anything you say--and he will say complicated words like "cantaloupe" or "prophecy." He loves to put on dad's shoes and sling a bag around his neck and go to the door and say "see you tomorrow." He will also say "see you tomorrow" when he goes to bed. If something is unusual he will say "what happened?" For example the top of this sippy cup fell in the actual cup and he came up to me with it and said "what happened?"

Today he said to the librarian "thank you librarian". What an astounding kid! He is obsessed with music. He will point to the radio and ask for "music on." He also asked me one day if Daddy listened to music in his car on the way to work. I think the sentence was something like "daddy listen music in Vroom vroom?" (he prefers to say vroom vroom over car---and well don't we all.) He sings with a few of his singing toys--this cracks me up. We have a toy where Oscar the grouch sings "I love trash" And Ky sings "I uv tash". This morning he was singing the ABC's with me. He doesn't have all the letters down yet, but I would say there are about 10 or so he can get pretty well.

Sign language is coming back. I have been talking to my neighbor and she talked to me about some videos. So I have been renting them from the library. They are 20 minutes or so and they teach about 30 words using pictures and kids. Ky loves the video. He asks for it "video pwease!" I let him watch it once a day--and it has not only got his signing back on track, but his word pronunciation is much better. Ky can currently sign the following words-- fruit, apple, milk, more, please, hungry, eat, hat, aunt, grandma, and dog.

He is currently getting 3 of his "eye" teeth in (2 top and one bottom). That makes 5 teeth to go--1 eye tooth and 4 2-year molars.

Well I think that is all for now. Hopefully the weather gets warm soon. February is always the one of the hard months, though I often think March is worse. Just the word March sounds warm-but often it is just a tease...Ahhh...summer...

The Secret Part One

I am writing this more as a journal for Ky and the new one--yes that is right--the new one. I am not going to publish this until later--but I wanted to have some record...

So yes---I am pregnant with baby number 2. Rob and I had been talking about this and planning for a while, but once again I just wasn't ready for it to happen this fast. I thought I would have more time for mental preparation. So yup, I missed the monthly, but I told Rob that I didn't think I was pregnant. After all we had just started trying...


With Kylan--I knew a week before I missed. I remember being outside painting and feeling the pain of my shirt against my skin (which was weird) and then mood swings. I remember I just had the craziest outburst over nothing--and that was when I realized that I wasn't myself--and I knew. I kept it to myself until the day of my expected period. I was in tears, I was panicked, I was scared--and kept it all from Rob. Finally the day of, I broke down in his arms and told him. I told him I didn't think it would happen this fast (yeah I should have remembered this before number 2) and I wasn't sure I was ready--but now we had no choice. Everything was going to be changed forever!


Rob said he needed physical proof and he wanted me to pee on the stick. So I did and left it in the bathroom for him to look at. I didn't need to see it. Sure enough--there was evidence of little Kylan. WOW!

So number 2---I didn't have the same chest pains or mood swings. I did feel a little nauseous once or twice, but it's flu season--and I was hardly ever nauseous with Kylan. So I missed and then waited for it to come. I told Rob, I really don't think I am pregnant. Finally--I needed to know. I wanted to do some painting---and if I was pregnant, it would not be a good idea for me to paint. So while Rob was at work and Ky was eating lunch, I did the test. I came out and cried with Kylan for a few minutes. And then I called Rob---and well no I did not tell him. I tried to feel him out on when he was going to be home. I needed a little more time to adjust to the idea before I told him.

This may sound bad, my sadness over being pregnant--but you really need to think things through. When it actually happens--it is permanent, there is no going back. Am I happy I am pregnant-Absolutely! (the same for Kylan). But at the same time I need to mourn my loss--because there is some loss when you have a child. It is like moving. YOu are excited about moving, yet sad to leave your old home behind--but you know the move is all for the better.


Same with a kid. Now there is even less freedom, more commitment--not only for myself, but for Rob and Kylan. And then you start to wonder, can I really still give Ky all the attention he needs with a new baby. How am I going to have enough time for both? Will I now miss special moments with Kylan? Will Rob and I ever sleep again? Are Rob and I still going to have enough time for each other? Then you look at all the positives.


Together with God, Rob and I have created a whole new person. God has entrusted us with this tiny life. I have someone new to love and watch grow. Ky will have a playmate--they are close enough in age that they could become best friends. And this child, like Kylan will be one of my closest companions.

I told Rob that night---I told him at our dinner prayer. I prayed for us, our family, and our home, and then I prayed for the new little one's health (watching Rob the whole time) and said Amen. He was excited and ecstatic and a little surprised as well--since I had kept telling him I didn't think I was pregnant.

So Kylan was Robessica in utero; the new one gets to be Jessicob. I am at week 7 or so....It has been a very rough first couple of weeks. I have been very nauseous and very tired. I am having problems sleeping at night. I am falling behind on housework and projects. I was not like this with Ky --proof every pregnancy is really different. With Ky I was still teaching and felt nauseous once in a while--but I still slept well at night. Right now I am struggling to get through the day sometimes---and I have to say Ky has been great!

Sometimes I just lay on the couch and Ky will nicely play with toys or bring books to me to read. What a great kid he is. I keep telling him he is going to be a big brother---but let's be honest. The little guy has NO clue.

So at 8 weeks I got my first ultrasound of Ky. With a new HMO , I am meeting to talk with a nurse practitioner at 8 weeks to find a suitable doc. So I have no idea when I am actually going to have my first doc appointment. --BTW--so I called the clinic to tell them I was pregs---well they said the stick wasn't adequate and that I had to bring in my own urine sample for it to be tested in their lab. So here I am toting a peanut butter jar of urine into the clinic for testing--this was not my proudest moment--They have me take it to the reception desk---where I have to tell the lady (in front of other people) that I have this jar of pee that needs to be tested...Yeah---this was not the most comfortable moment of my life...


So the nurse calls back--and she sounds depressed, just down in the dumps and tells me that my test was positive. The weirdest phone call--this should be exciting! and I am like--yeah I know--and then she is almost asking me if she should congratulate me in her depressed mood....Very weird and sad experience if she feels she must be this way for all patients.

Anyway--so yeah---i don't know how this is all going to go. We are thinking of waiting to tell people until March. Perhaps a good birthday present for Rob's mom--she really enjoyed Ky as her christmas present a few years back. We will have to see how long we can conceal it.

I know i have already gained weight--which is nuts since it is so early---but i have been weighing myself. They also say you show a lot quicker the second time since your muscles aren't as tight anymore. Hopefully we make it until then. The winter will be our coverup (lots of layers.) One last thing-- due date is September 24. I honestly hope the baby is born the first day of fall--which is possible.


So yeah this also ruins or changes a few plans--sorry Becky--I don't think I will be able to play the entire season of soccer with you; and Met friends--I think an August date for the reunion would be a bit better than September. And as far as camping this summer; I really want to go--but we will have to see.

Mom's wedding

Fast forwarding--or actually rewinding to January 12TH! My mom's wedding to Terry. We arrived in the city Friday afternoon and went straight to the rehearsal dinner. We all rehearsed just fine! It was funny--Jeff and John were groomsmen and Terry's brother taught them how to walk gentlemen like (escorting their ladies) and then how to guide them up the stairs. They did pretty well after their lesson. After the rehearsal dinner the boys and girls split up for surprise bachelor/bachelorette parties. The ladies of the church had a nice little snack session set up--and the women spent their time gabbing. The men went to Steak N' Shake where I am told that some of the older men--including the pastor were attempting to fix Johnny up with the waitress. Poor guy--take your time boy! He may be the last unwed sibling, but he is also the youngest at 19-- he has plenty of time.

After that we went back and crashed at Joel & Jamie's. The next day we were up and prepping for the wedding which was to be at 1:00. Now this is complicated--1:00 is Ky's naptime, so I had no idea what to do other than keep him up. (He was the ring bearer and had a big job to do.) We also had to be at the church by 11:30 for pics--so there really was no time for an early nap.

Ky did alright for the most part--he refused to wear his boudoir (Sp?), and was not really in the mood for picture taking. Considering I know how grumpy he can get---he did pretty well.

So let's get to the good stuff. My mom was beautiful-of course--and full of nerves. You could just tell. We were waiting in the nursery for the wedding to begin and my mom kept peeking out at the sanctuary to see Terry and the number of people that were there. Ky refused to walk with Dad down the first part of the church, but when he got to the main aisle, he sucked it in and did his best to walk like a good little ring bearer. Then came my mom. Joel walked her down and even whispered a few things in her ear to help her from being too nervous. Then Terry went and got her and guided her up on stage. --Now standing right behind my mom it was clear that she was very nervous. I could hear the rustling of her flowers as her hands were shaking, and she did start swaying at one point--which made me very nervous. Terry was no exception. He was looking a little sweaty himself--and was pretty tightly clasping his hands. What cute kids they were!

They both had a good set of vows as well.

Afterwards we all exited gracefully.

Alright--a little more about Kylan---the boy was overtired during the ceremony. He was a little fussy on and off and then passed out before the end. It was so funny Mom was reading her vows and then I hear Ky in the background going "PEEP PEEP - CHICK! PEEP PEEP" I knew he was reading his little chick book.

The food was good and the cake even better (but of course!) We helped to tear down and clean up the place after that and then it was back to Joel's for some sibling bonding. All the sibs came over and had a jam session and played Dominos---which I should have won! It was a good time. Sarah and Jeff showed us their pics from Israel and we really got to enjoy each others company.

We also took some good sibling pics. Brother James is included in one of them (he is kind of adopted)--we also tried to represent our ages by height...I think mentally Johnny was feeling a bit older than Jeff and felt he needed to represent.

BTW--the one pic of Ky feeding the snowman is really cute. He took that snowman put it in his highchair and fed him. He kept saying "eat milk". Funny boy.

The next day we were off early--as we had to destroy our kitchen before the counter people came. So a quick house update---everything is tiled, most walls have been painted--though some touchup/second coats need to be done, and now our beautiful new countertops with integrated sink have been installed. This was a difficult process since our kitchen does not have a separate water shut off. We actually had to shut off water to the whole house for a day while the counters were installed. And then we had plumbing problems and had to seek professional help. Turns out the new sink was much lower than the old one and so we had problems geting the plumbing to work out. The plumber was really scared too---he wasn't sure he could fix it---but I prayed hard and the Lord came through and it all worked out. I will have to post pics soon of all the changes we have done, it is impressive.

Okay---Ky updates

The boy is obsessed with counting and his ABC's. Can't do it on his own yet, but he will kind of sing "ABC, ABC" over and over to himself. In the bathtub, he will line up his ducks and count "3,4,9" Those are his favorite numbers. When he or someone else is leaving he will say "Peace Out" (thanks to our friend Wendy) and "See you tomorrow." His sentences are really coming along. He likes to eat bubbles---yeah I am not sure I can explain this one, but in the bathtub he yells "eat Bubbles" and tries to catch them and eat them. He also likes to eat snow---when we got dumped on the other day (13") Ky went out with dad and spent his time eating snow. He says "Baby Eat snow" Sometimes he will call himself Kylan which sounds like "Ky-yan". He loves the library and will decipher library books from his own (meaning he says Yibrary book). He is really learning names. He now says Grandma Debi and Grandma Jan--We are working on Grandma Maureen---but it is really messy when he says it right now.

The boy is the polite police--and it is almost sickening sometimes. And yes--I am responsible; I taught him. If you make a noise that even remotely sounds like a fart or burp (such as pushing a chair on a hard floor)---he will announce to everyone "Mommy Fart. Excuse Me" and will continue to say that until you actually say excuse me. He also says Thank you for just about anything. And he says Bless you when you sneeze.

Lately he has been obsessed with walking backwards. Our neighbor was really impressed when she saw him doing it. She said it was a "readiness" requirement for kindegartners. That was interesting to hear.

Well that is all for now...Will update soon with more--as you can see I am about a month behind!