First week home

There has not been a dull moment since Kylan has come home. We have learned so much from him.

We have learned that Kylan has super powers. First of all, he knows when we are not in the room with him. For example, he refuses to sleep in his bedroom. Even if we put music on for him or lights, he knows that we are not there. However, if he is in our bedroom in his pack n’ play, he is fine—even though he cannot see or hear us.

He also has what Mark and Ang coined as “explosive poo.” After the first day home with us, Kylan knew exactly when we were changing his diaper and was able to perfectly plan when he would poop/pee. Rob and I even had a technique down, where we would quickly cover his lil’ pencil once we removed the old diaper. However, Kylan would still manage to take advantage of that split second to pee (usually on himself.) (This reminds me—I don’t think we mentioned when Rob changed him at the hospital his first day of life and little Kylan managed to pee on his own face.) The explosive poo is much worse than the pee. When Kylan takes a dump, he covers as much of a radius as he can. WATCH OUT!!! Yeah—this was not much fun. I think in the series of two days he had managed to stain six outfits. (Now we know we are real parents, when our conversation leads to our child’s pee and poop habits.)

Kylan can also already manage to roll over on his side. We don’t know if his center of gravity is off or if he really has the muscles to move himself. He will only sleep on his back if he is very VERY tightly swaddled.

The doc also showed us that Kylan has the strength to scoot himself forward if placed on his stomach. Yes—super powers…We choose to believe our child is just advanced.

Have I mentioned yet how much Kylan likes to grunt. Yes, grunt. Sometimes he sounds like a goat, other times he sounds like an old man. Continual grunting—when he’s awake or asleep. I like it. Rob wishes Kylan would sleep soundly.

I have to say, I am really impressed by how little he cries. He may make a pathetic sob sound from time to time, but otherwise he cries very little. It is like he knows that it’s not worth the effort. We will come and get him and try to figure out what he needs. He is very mellow. I don’t think we could have asked for a better kid.

Let’s see..other updates….When we left the hospital with Kylan on Sunday, June 11th, he weighed 6 lbs 7 oz. At his appointment on Tuesday June 13th, he weighed 6 lbs. 13 oz. Tomorrow we go back..and I am sure he is around 7 ½ pounds.

We have given Kylan two baths as well since we have come home. The most recent (today) gave him his first rash. We were a bit concerned, but it quickly faded. I think it was from his new towel. Mental note—wash all clothing, towels, rags before using on infant.

Okay--that's all for now....

Thank yous...

I want to say a quick thank you to all the phone calls and cards and presents. I am sorry I haven’t responded (including thank you notes from the shower), but I will soon! It is just taking some time to adjust to things—and we are trying to get sleep when we can! I figure by at least trying to update the blog, we can let everyone know how things are going/went in a more efficient way. Expect to hear from me soon!

Oh yeah—as promised more pics….

June 7th - a different view

I’ve been meaning to write something on the blog for a while, so that it isn’t always Jess writing about us, so what better thing to write about than my view of Kylan’s birth day, June 7th? The most obvious thing is that it was more of an outside perspective because the dad doesn’t really “do” anything – if you’re a control freak, this isn’t the experience for you because you have no control over anything!

We went to the hospital around 9:00 on Tuesday night and definitely dragged our feet. Jess was a little scared about being induced and had to deal with that during the day. We also hadn’t slept at all because the doc said Jess should be able to sleep that night at the hospital. So surprise #1 was getting settled in and being told that during the day Dr. Goldman had apparently changed her mind and decided to give Jess an accelerated drip of Pitocin = no sleep that night. The good news (we thought) was that the baby should arrive by early Wednesday morning. The next unpleasant surprise was that Jess would basically be bedridden and had to stay permanently hooked to a blood pressure cuff which would automatically take her BP every 15 minutes. There went most of Jess’ plans to help get through labor – sitting in the jacuzzi tub, walking the halls, frequently changing positions, etc. And I wouldn’t fully realize it until later, but there went my opportunity to “coach” and be somewhat involved. Throughout all of our birthing classes and reading materials, everything talks about the dad being a coach and helping mom through it. But once Jess was basically tied to the bed, most of that went out the window. (Did I mention yet that Jess was NOT a big fan of the breathing exercises we’re supposed to do? She felt they were a waste of time and that she’d find her own way of breathing through contractions. So we didn’t bother learning the breathing exercises together.)

Around midnight, there wasn’t much progress and Jess was trying to get a little sleep. She encouraged me to go ahead and take a nap until she got farther into labor. I drifted into sleep – I woke up periodically to the nurse checking in but would fall back asleep. When I woke up for real it was 6:30 in the morning and Jess still hadn’t progressed much. She said the contractions hadn’t gotten painful yet. Just before 7, the doc came and broke her water. She was 2-3 cm. dilated and 70% effaced at this point, but we assumed that now things would start to pick up, and the nurse gave her guess that the baby should be born in between 5 and 7 that evening.

Her contractions did progress throughout the day and around noon started getting pretty heavy. By 3:00 they were much worse and Jess started to consider something for the pain. She was starving and sleep deprived and was having a really hard time. Even though I can’t relate to labor, that was something we can all relate to. Any time you have a big physical ordeal, two of the biggest things that can help give you a second wind are food and sleep. In this case, one wasn’t allowed (food) and one was impossible (sleep). It also didn’t help that at each shift change the new nurse was less empathetic than the previous, and the one at this point was the least helpful. Jess really broke down a few times here and this was when I really felt helpless and useless. I couldn’t do many of the coaching things that I had learned and Jess didn’t really want any of the things I could have done – putting pressure against her back, wet cloths on her face, massaging, etc. At this point, she said that she could handle the pain but it was not knowing how much longer that was killing her and she didn’t know if she had energy to handle several more hours. Once again, there was nothing for me to do.

Finally Jess decided to have her dilation checked so she knew how far she was – she was VERY afraid that she couldn’t deal with the answer if she hadn’t dilated much, but I pointed out that if she forced herself to go through 2 more hours and then found out that she hadn’t progressed, it would be even worse. (If it’s bad news, don’t wait …)

When she was checked, her fears were realized – only 4-5 cm. dilated and 70% effaced after all that time and Pitocin. In retrospect, it’s obvious that Jess somehow knew inside that she hadn’t progressed and that’s why she was scared to check. But now she knew for sure, and after a lot of tears and thinking, decided to get the epidural. She needed rest more than anything and that’s the only thing that could help. My only real contribution came at these times because I asked a lot of questions about everything and tried hard to remember everything that happened – Jess was a little out of it and couldn’t do that.

The epidural was a huge step for Jess because she has a real problem with getting a needle in her back – and I didn’t realize how hard it was for her until the epidural was going in. She was absolutely miserable and said it was worse than any contraction. But she got through it and it was for the best – she immediately relaxed and knew she’d get through everything OK. But the good part didn’t last because at 5:00 she was still only 4-5 cm. dilated. I think a cesarean was starting to enter both of our minds, but we didn’t say it yet. At 7:00 the doc came and Jess was 5-6 cm. dilated and mostly effaced, but only 1 cm. of progress in 4 hours. They could also tell that the baby was looking up, which needed to change. Dr. Goldman finally brought up the C word and said it was a good possibility. She increased the Pitocin dosage one more time and said she’d give things one more hour to change.

Now we prayed. I didn’t want a c-section any more than Jess did, but maybe for different reasons. Jess’ biggest concerns were wanting to see the birth, to hold our baby immediately, and that she just wanted the natural childbirth experience. I understood that, but my biggest concern was that this is a major surgery, and all major surgeries have some degree of risk. I hadn’t wanted to imagine her going through that, or even to consider the risky aspect. So we prayed about it, hoping that natural birth would work out but preparing for the opposite. I also prayed for Jess to be at peace – she’d mentioned that a c-section wouldn’t be as satisfying for her and that she might not even feel like she really “gave birth”. So I wanted that to be taken from her mind.

At 8:30 the doctor came back – Jess was unchanged – so a c-section became official. Jess had to sign the paperwork that comes with every surgery – “it’s not the hospital’s fault if you die”. That made it so much more freaky for me – I knew it’s the same papers we sign for any surgery (getting wisdom teeth pulled), but the whole situation just made it more scary. Jess was very distraught – she asked me not to call anyone to tell them what was going on. I tried to comfort and reassure her, especially to get rid of her thought that it might be her fault - she didn’t do anything to cause a c-section.

They gave me scrubs to change into (and a hairnet and facemask) and began prepping Jess for surgery. The epidural now was a godsend because they could use that as the anesthetic for the surgery. Too soon, they took Jess away – and left me behind, saying they’d come get me in 5 minutes after the anesthesiologist got her ready. After 10 minutes, I was starting to feel uneasy and around 15 minutes I was a little panicked. I finally asked a nurse if the delay was normal and she said it was because the anesthesiologist was late getting there – that was a little reassuring. Just after that, they came and took me to her.

I sat by her head behind the curtain so neither of us could see what they did. All I could do was hold her hand (her arms were strapped down, more freakiness), stroke her head, and talk with her. So I was still only there – I just wanted to help her somehow in a way that felt real or tangible – but I couldn’t. Jess seemed very shaky and she could feel them inside of her even though it wasn’t pain. She would tell me when they were pulling or tugging and knew when they were finally about to pull him/her out. Then we heard “It’s a boy!” and he cried right away! I saw them carry him to the warmer and it was very surreal. He was still covered in blood and fluids and I couldn’t believe that was our son, right there. (In the background, I heard them say “time of birth – 9:17 p.m.) I tried to move so Jess could see him but she couldn’t get a very good view. I went over and lightly stroked his head, but wasn’t sure if I was supposed to touch him while they were working on him. Finally they brought him to Jess so she could look at him, but that was it – now they were taking him to the nursery to be examined and make sure he was all good. This was the decision time – we both wanted to be with him right away, but I didn’t want to leave Jess alone to get sewed up. I asked and they told me that once I left the operating room I couldn’t go back in, so would have to wait until she got back to our room. She decided for me - go with him – so I did but it was hard and I felt horrible. I just felt that someone should be with her until everything was over and I didn’t do that ...

But I did get to be with our unnamed baby boy for the first hour of his life! Right away I saw how beautiful he was – not all newborns look cute, but ours does! In the nursery, I finally made sure that I could touch him even though he was still being checked up, so I just stroked his head and held his hand while they worked. I got to feel the vernix caseosa which was still all over his skin – it’s a lot like very thick lotion, maybe Crisco is the best comparison. He was weighed (7 lb 2.8 oz), measured (19 in.), got his temperature taken. Then they did footprints and I remembered to get his baby book and put them there as well. After that I finally got to hold him and just walked around the nursery with him for a while – I don’t know how long. I gave him my pinkie and discovered that his sucking reflex was great even though he hadn’t been able to nurse yet. In a little while, they wanted to give him his first bath – so I watched that and took notes (in my head). Then they thought he needed to go back under the warmer for a while, so I was back to watching him.

Jess was finally back in the room so I could check on her. She was very groggy and said that the “fixing her up” after he was born was worse than the birth - and she was so tired. (Later on she told me more about her time after I left the operating room but not right away.) They had given her Demarol so she was very out of it. A few minutes later she was finally able to meet our baby, which was awesome to watch! She got so much happier, even after everything, and also attempted his first nursing. After only about 15 minutes they took him back to the warmer. Jess was OK with that, so I knew she was absolutely wiped out and just needed to sleep.

After all that, I finally called family to let them know the news – only grandparents, everyone else had to wait. And then I went back in to check on our son until they brought him back to the room – we both held him a little more (Jess woke up) and then let him go back to the nursery for the night. So ends June 7th – hey, it looks like I wrote more than Jess normally does – they always said I talk a lot (ask my family)!

June 8th

Shortly after midnight I passed out. At 5:30 AM, I awoke to a nurse checking my vitals. I asked her about the baby and she informed me that the staff had spent much of the night clearing fluids from his lungs and he had just fallen asleep. She said it was best not to wake him and to wait for him to wake himself. Afterall, he had had a rough last few days as well. I remember trying to move at this point, but was unable to do so. Besides the pain in my abdomen, my legs still felt flimsy from all the drugs. They had set me up with this painkiller button that would give me a hit each time I pressed it. Unfortunately I was only allowed one hit every ten minutes. (Let me tell you I pressed it a lot, but felt little relief.) I then dozed off again.

By 10:00 Rob and I were both up and discussed names for the baby. We had about 4 different possibilities. I told Rob that I needed to see him again before we could name him. We would then know what name would best fit him. It wasn’t until 10:30 that the nurse finally brought him in. Holding him in my arms was wonderful. We instantly knew his name as well. KYLAN.

Rob and I had really liked the Hawaiiian name KAI—meaning ocean. However the name Kai is often mispronounced “Kay”. We had seen the gaelic name Kylan in passing recently and figured this was actually a very good alternative. Kylan comes from the name Kyle—and thus we could also still call him Ky—where the “Y” would be understood as a long “I”. So the name Kylan has a variety of meanings. Coming from KYLE –it means handsome. It also means Church, wood, or a narrow strait. Since our boy is very handsome we like the Kyle derivative.

We had had a middle name already picked out, but I told Rob that I wanted to change it to a name that started with “J”. That way Ky could go by “KJ” if he wanted to. I mentioned James, but Rob mentioned Jacob. He liked the name Jacob. I liked Jacob as well, I just don’t like it as a first name where he could be called Jake. (Makes me think of Jake the Snake Roberts---Old School WWF.) So Jacob became his middle name.

Kylan Jacob Schnake.

I’m not going to go into too much descriptive details of my recovery. However, I willl say that I never want to go through surgery again. And having your abdomen cut open sucks. Everything you do involves your abdominal muscles, so every movement is felt.

I do want to mention my very impressive 13 staples, though. Yes—they actually stapled me shut. I now know that if I am with someone who has a serious laceration I could just staple them shut to help stop the bleeding….hmmm….

Anyway—it was almost 72 hours before I was able to eat again. YEAH FOOD!!! However after having my intestines and stomach moved around, I honestly was not that hungry. They finally removed my IV on day 4, which was also wonderful to see go. There is nothing like dragging around a rack of fluids each time you need to use the restroom.

Kylan was WONDERFUL!!! He would get a little fussy at night, but otherwise he was an angel during the day. He caught on to nursing rather quickly as well.
We stayed in the hospital until Sunday—Day 6 of our delivery adventure. They removed the staples then and packaged my incision with steri-strips. I was also given very specific instructions telling me that I pretty much shouldn’t do or lift anything heavier than Kylan for six weeks. They were pretty specific…in fact on one sheet it told me not to vacuum. So now rob has become the official housekeeper....

Well, I am going to end this entry here. The next entry I will update with our first few days at home….Here are some more pics of our little sunshine.

June 7th

So much has happened since we last had computer access. We just got home last night, Sunday- June 11th. So I figured I would just create a blog for each day since June 6th. (that way we can include lots of pics and tell of what happened.) I am using this blog to not only update friends and relatives, but as a diary for us.

So, on June 6th, Robby and I arrived at the hospital at 9:00 pm for our 8:00 pm appointment. (we were a bit scared and drug our feet.) The nurse was very nice and promised not to tattle on us. So she got me settled in with a very painful IV ( She couldn't find the vein--OUCH!), and told me she was going to get me started on the full dose of pitocin.

This is when Robby and I argued with the nurse--Dr. Goldman had told us that she was going to start us off on a slow drip, so I could sleep through the night. Apparently, she had changed her mind. This also sucked since I was exhausted and knew that I needed every possible wink of sleep. This is when she was given the name "Evil Dr. Goldman."

The nurse also told us that with the fast drip, we may have a baby by morning. So we quickly called all the relatives and let them know.

So throughout the night I was up, though attempted to doze. I had some good contractions (not very painful) and was constantly monitored by the nurse and blood pressure machine.

By 7:00 AM there was no sign of baby. The doc came in and said I was 3 cm. dilated and 70% effaced (not much progress.) She then broke my water, to get things going. The next nurse said that there was a good chance I would have the baby by 7PM and so once again we called all the relatives and let them know. The contractions definitely increased in severity, but what really sucked was the fact that I was bedridden. My blood pressure was too high so they would only let me out of bed for 15 minutes at a time. By 12:30 the contractions became the strongest I had experienced and I was getting exhausted. It was my choice to find out how far along I was, but I did not want to be disappointed if I was only 4 or 5 cm dilated. By 3pm I was in tears, they were keeping me in bed and the contractions were dealable, but I needed sleep or food. I was exhausted, i had only gotten 1-2 hours of sleep in 31 hours--oh and what is most important is that I hadn't eaten anything in 20 hours. I was starved! I begged for some food, but they said no. So I asked to find out how far I was. The nurse came in and checked and said that I was 4-5 cm dilated and 70% effaced. I was making very little progress and at this rate the baby would not be born until the next day. The nurse told me if I got an epidural I would at least be able to sleep--so that is what i did and I don't think I will ever get another one again (unless put in the same situation.)--Please don't ask for the details---

So by 4 PM, I was resting somewhat comfortably and dozing. At 5 pm I was checked again and was still at 4-5 cm dilated. At. 7 pm I was checked again and was 5-6 cm and 90% effaced, but the doc said that things were going too slow, and now the baby was showing some signs of distress. It appears that the baby had it's head tilted up which was preventing it from coming down. The baby was located at zero station. She said that she would up my pitocin one last time and check back at 8:30.

I have to say my plans for labor had been almost completely ruined at this point. I was really bummed and Rob and I spent some time praying for a natural birth. I wanted to see my child arrive in the world and I wanted to be able to bond with him/her from the start.

At. 8:30, I still had not progressed and quick action for a c-section was taken. They wheeled me in the room and some doc named Ronan kept asking me to name my child after him. (I was emotionally a mess--and this is what I remember.) By 9:00 they were hacking into me. I asked if I could watch, but they would not let me. It is so weird, the feeling of being cut and not feeling the pain....I knew when they were pulling the baby out because I could feel the tugging on my skin and the release. The baby cried immediately and they said "It's a boy." They took him over to the warmer and I could see his little feet. With my insistance, Rob went with the baby to the nursery to make sure he was okay. The aftermath of the c-section was the worse. I would rather not say--but let me tell you I don't want to go through that again.

So a boy--I was anxious to see him. Rob and I did not have a boy's name picked out so this was going to be interesting. (Also at this point the relatives knew nothing of what had happened.) I asked Rob not to call anyone. I did not want other people to see my baby before I could.

So Baby Boy Schnake was born at 9:17 PM on June 7th, 2006. He weighed 7 lbs. 2 oz and was 19 inches long.

I held him briefly that night and attempted to nurse, but I was very exhausted (I had lost a lot of blood and was on a lot of drugs) so I honestly don't remember too much. I know Rob wanted to discuss names, but I pushed it off and fell into a deep DEEP sleep.

37 weeks 2 days...

And here he/she comes.

As of tomorrow we will be parents. Yes, we are terrified!!!

We went to the docs today, my blood pressure is really high 144/94. I gained 6 pounds of water in 4 days. Doc says it is pre-eclampsia and time to induce. (Go figure on the one of two dates that I didn't want the baby to come.) But the doc has assured me that it is very unlikely that I will have the baby today. Probably, tomorrow. So, tonight I will go in and be induced--hopefully I will sleep well and tomorrow will be labor pains and a baby.

Keep track of the blog for updates and pics...

36 week pictures

So here are a few pics from my mother's day gift from Rob. We have these and many more in color and black & white. These were taken last Sunday--so at 36 weeks. And yes, I have been blessed!--NO STRETCH MARKS!!!!