All the things you want to know about having a baby...

This blog entry I have been working on over the past 4 weeks or so. I will add sections to it as I learn new things....so don't be surprised to see updates to this entry.

This morning at 6 AM, I was doing the usual thing--changing Kylan's diaper....and he was doing the usual thing...crying at the top of his lungs (he hates diaper changes.) Then I woke up....to Kylan crying. You know you do too much of something when you begin dreaming about it. The scary thing is, I wonder how long he was actually crying before my brain finally registered to wake up. Also it shows how exhausted I was, even though I went to bed at 10:30. This blog I dedicate to all the moms-to-be, moms-I-am and to myself when we have our second child (I am sure I will need reminders.)

YOUR NEW SCHEDULE

So in the beginning you are told to expect your newborn to sleep 16 - 18 hours a day. With that in mind, you should be thinking "oh--then I will have plenty of time to sleep and to get whatever I need done." Okay, so here is the reality. So let's say you follow everyone's advice and sleep when the baby sleeps. So you are aiming for that 16 - 18 hours a day. First of all, realize that every two hours, junior is going to wake up to be fed (normally---do realize that some days junior will want to eat every hour---Kylan has been doing so the last several days. Growth spurt time!)..

So let's say baby wakes up at 2. Well first you have to change him which can take anywhere from 5 - 15 minutes (depending on how bad it is and if the baby decides to poo or pee during the change or if the baby poops on the floor -- remember the explosive pooh log entry, if you have to change clothing in the process, clean area around etc....). So let's assume it is a good change. Time is now 2:05. Time to feed. Baby may take up to 45 minutes to feed and will take a minimum of 20 minutes. But first you must prepare yourself and get comfy. Let's assume a 30 minute feeding with 5 minutes to prepare. Time is now 2:40. Did I menton that baby slept through 20 minutes of the feeding??? Yes these creatures can eat and sleep at the same time. Time to burp. If your lucky baby will burp immediately. If you're not you may be burping for 10 minutes. (Did I mention baby is still sleeping through this?) Let's assume 5 minute burp time. Baby has now been down 25 minutes and the time is 2:45.

Now comes the trickiest part. Transferring junior to their bed without waking them up. So you ever so slowly get up. Of course this motion has probably disturbed junior, so now you do a little jig around the room to get baby back to sleep. Then you do the careful and very slow motion of putting junior in the bed and ever so slowly removing your hands. Of course, junior will probably wake up once again and so then you spend time patting, jiggling, singing--whatever activity is required to get baby to fall asleep again. This can take anywhere from 5 min (good day) to 2 hours (bad day---and also notice this is the next feeding time!). Let's assume you have a pretty good day. Baby is in bed 15 minutes after burping. Time is now 3:00. Baby has been sleeping alright for about 40 minutes. Now you're turn to sleep.

You hop into bed and are either dealing with one of three scenarios, getting back up to get baby back to sleep, listening to the loud grunts/cries (see sleeping section) of your child, or wondering if your baby is alright since you do not hear the loud grunts/cries of your child. Let's assume situation 2. It now takes you 20 minutes to get to sleep (time is 3:20). By then baby has been asleep for 1 hour. So two hour feedings ...right?! 4:05 you are woken up to start all over again. In that two hour period of time you got 45 minutes of sleep. So if you tried to sleep with your baby for the 18 hours they sleep, you would actually get maybe 8 hours of sleep in 45 minute intervals...sounds refreshing!!! Ahhh...

So what are you doing for the remaining 6 hours??? Well, remember ......Trying to calm babies cries, play with baby, eat some food, take a shower if you are lucky and do those other personal maintenance things, laundry (babies go through alot of clothes between eating and pottying), clean house, and deal with phone calls and visitors (everyone is excited about the new baby.)

BABY'S SLEEP

So let's talk a little more about baby's sleeping habits. First of all, where is the baby going to sleep? You say" in the crib of course!" NOT!!!! Baby only wants to be next to you. Hopefully you can put baby in a bassinett next to your bed. However, Kylan did not want to be anywhere but in bed next to mom for a while. You have to remember that baby has been used to the sound of your heart, your warmth, and cramped quarters for a while. They can also smell you. So they know when you are not in the room with them. People are really worried these days about cosleeping, but the fact is--as a new parent you are such a light sleeper anyway, you are not going to roll over on your child (remember 45 minute sleep increments). Plus if you are breastfeeding, it makes middle of the night feedings less exhausting (it's like a 24 hour diner!)

Kylan sleeps in the pack n' play now in our room. He is not ready to sleep in his own room yet.

So have you heard the saying "sleeping like a baby" to refer to someone who is really sound asleep. Well that term does not make sense when referring to an infant. Kylan is a very loud sleeper. In fact it has taken some work for us to sleep through all his noises. He grunts, groans, cries and moans all night in his sleep. And he moves! In fact, he will often wake himself up by poking himself in the eye. This is why you should swaddle (if your baby likes it). Kylan is not a fan. He needs to have his hands free. Anyway back to baby noises. So I timed Kylan's noises once. Every four minutes he was making some sort of noise. Learn to sleep through this, and don't let "crying" fool you. Unless he has a consitant cry for at least 30 seconds, he is asleep.

BREASTFEEDING

If you formula feed, this section probably is not for you...If you are a boy and reading about this bothers you, then skip to the next section. But first read this....Breasts were originally made to feed babies. Get over it!

So first of all you have to love the companionship and closeness that comes with breastfeeding. Despite the negative things that I write in this, I would not choose to feed my child any other way. It is just too wonderful of an experience. However, once again, there are many things that you are not aware of when it comes to breastfeeding. First of all, they tell you "breastfeeding should not hurt." Well here is the truth "Breastfeeding should not hurt after you have been doing it for a week or so and the baby has broken them in." The fact is you are going to be sore. It just takes some time to get used to. I highly recommend lanolin for the first week or so, and then you probably won't really need it anymore. Also, if your pretty full of milk, when the baby first latches you are going to feel a pinch.

Also with breastfeeding I have noticed that I get a lot more sore throats. I have been told this is actually pretty common. Just be sure to drink pretty fluids.

So here is the part that I find amusing and also frustrating at the same time. I get engorged. Especially by the morning (something else that is very common.) Often Kylan will start and get things flowing and then he will pull off. Then I am spraying everywhere! And it is hard to get him back on. Nobody told me about the spraying. Every day I feel sticky due to regular milk leakage or spraying. And Kylan gets sticky as well. I don't know how people go to work and pump. There is too often that I have milk everywhere and need to change clothing. KUDOS to them! This is also where having a leather couch or glider would be good (easy clean-up).

Funny story for the women--my Father-in-law is really weirded out by my breast milk. I had pumped and left it for him when he babysat. He called his wife and asked her how soon she was going to be home, so she could feed him.

Anyway--I highly recommend pumping and freezing. It is then easy to feed baby in situations that would otherwise be difficult. Plus it only takes a few minutes to prepare the bottle. Otherwise, I have breastfed in "public" and do not feel this should be an issue. I have also yet to receive any dirty looks. I must also say that I do feed very discreetly (blanket over baby and me.) I am waiting to get a dirty look one of these days, I know it will happen. But honestly, I don't care. The baby has gotta eat!

Here is something else that is of note. Beware if you are going to be away from the baby for long periods of time. YOU WILL NEED TO PUMP. Otherwise you will make yourself miserable, as well as let every person in the world know that you are breastfeeding. I wear layers if I know I am not going to breastfeed on my regular schedule. There is a very good chance of leakage.

DIAPER CHANGES

One of the most common mom topics is diaper changes. That is because you have at least 1-2 diaper adventures a day. In the beginning beware of the meconium. That is the icky black tar stuff that comes out of babies. It is really sticky. Try to change the baby right away (especially if you have a boy--otherwise it will get stuck to his testicles.)

Anyway, with breastfed babies, I hear they poop a lot more often. Kylan goes 8-12 times a day. You always know when he goes too. It is very audible. I should say EVERYONE knows when he goes. The nice thing about breastfed babies is that their poo really does not smell. It isn't enjoyable, but it isn't horrible like I hear formula fed babies are. So that's the facts, now here is the adventures.

First if you have a boy or girl be sure to cover the wee wee area when changing. BOTH BOYS AND GIRLS can spray you, themselves, the room, etc. They have very good distance. Even if you cover the wee wee area, still expect to have problems. Kylan has the ability to go right when you remove the cover from the wee wee area to put the new diaper on. In this split second he can soak himself or the changing table or floor. Once again if you have a breastfed baby--the good thing is their pee is sterile. So even when they pee on their own faces (which Kylan has done alot), you don't need to worry (same with their poo).

Okay so poo. First it is explosive and liquidy if you have a breastfed baby. This is how we know to beware of Kylan's explosive poo. If he is crying when you are changing him and suddenly stops, beware--he is setting you up! It also seems that many babies will wait until they are being changed to poo. I don't know why. Perhaps they enjoy our screams and the disgusted faces we make. Anyway, I really don't want to go into this subject too much more except to say-you really have to experience this to understand. Stories do not do it justice.

Cloth Diapers--
So we have decided to save the earth and go the route of cloth diapers (that and save money). I have purchased mother-ease one size diapers. These diapers are awesome! They fit newborns through 35 lb babies through a series of snaps. As your baby grows you move out snaps. Unfortunately they are a little more difficult to use when your baby is not eating solid foods since their poo is more liquidy, but it is still definitetly worth it. I am also using liners, so that once the poo is solid it will be easy to dispose of and leave little to no mess in the diapers. I highly recommend Mother-Ease diapers if you go the cloth route. I have 26 and wash every 2-3 days. I purchase my liners at tinytush.com--the liners are flushable so it is really easy to clean-up. I also use just regular rubber pants instead of fancy covers. They can be hard to find, but you can purchase 6 for $4 -$5 at Walmart when they have them.

One more thing to add, I have yet to have a leakage problem with these cloth diapers. When I had Kylan in disposables he would leak at least 3 times a week and make a mess of his clothes. That liquid poo gets pushed out of the diaper and is really gross--and we were using name brand (Pampers, huggies...). So I also feel that cloth are more reliable as well.

BUTT WIPE RECIPE

To save money on butt wipes you can make your own! I bought a bunch of baby rags, about 28 or so (you can buy packs of 8 for $3 at Walmart) and I have them folded in half and placed in an empty Huggies baby wipes container. The solution is for every one cup of water you mix in 1 tablespoon of baby wash and 1 tablespoon of oil. The oil can be baby oil, but it is better if you use cooking oil since that is natural (baby oil is not). Plus vegetable oil more easily washes out of cloth diapers. Any way, so you boil the water and then add it to the baby wash and oil. Mix up and poor over the rags. You can then wash the rags with the cloth diapers to reuse them. If you don't want to reuse the rags or you need to take some on the road you can cut a roll of paper towels in half, and pour the butt wipe mixture over it. Drain the excess water and now you have disposable wipes. How cool!
TRAVELING WITH BABY

This has been our latest adventure. We packed twice as many baby clothes as days. Just in case he ruined one outfit per day. We also packed his bouncy chair. This chair has saved us more than once from a very grumpy baby. I also made sure to take a breast pump, some bottles, formula (just in case), LOTS OF DIAPERS --disposable is best when traveling, sunblock, blankets, burp cloths and Pak n' Play ( something every mom should have.) Kylan slept very well in his car seat on the 5 + hour journey. In fact we only had to make one stop to feed and change. The journey went very well and at this time, I don't think I have any additional advice.