Before you read my little blog, please listen to this song....
http://www.jango.com/music/casting+crowns/slow+fade/
and take a minute to read the lyrics.
Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade
Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
So I have some friends who think I live in a bubble. To those friends I would like to say, I have seen much more of this world than I have wished to have seen and much more than you probably have.
Growing up, there was one important thing I credit my mother doing for me. She sheltered me, as much as she could from what she could. Granted--there were many things she did not, or maybe I should say she could not--but she made the attempt and also SHOWED me the attempt--SHOWED me that certains things were UNACCEPTABLE.
(I learned a lot more than I wish I had at a young age--and no, I am not going to go in specifics, however, if you would like to talk to me, I would be more than happy to share a lot of those things one on one with you.)
As mothers, we attempt to shelter our children from seeing violent circumstances or sexual scenes. May I ask "Why?" Before you read on, please take a minute to think of why you don't let your children watch these things.
Seriously think about it...
I have realized, throughout the years, that as you continue to let yourself watch or become involved in things that are UNACCEPTABLE, you slowly start to become numb to it and not fight it as it becomes a part of your "normal". Is it any wonder why so many kids grow up so cold and heartless? They are so used to seeing and experiencing this behavior, that that is simply what they are accustomed to.
Did you know that the average American child will have watched 100,000 acts of televised violence, including 8000 depictions of murder, by the time he or she finishes sixth grade (approximately 13 years old)? Isn't that INSANE? A child should NEVER see someone murdered, acting or real. Many of these children are seeing these murders before they are 5! And kids at this age often see tv as reality.
How about sexual scenes? Can you remember the last prime time tv series that did not show people in bed? How about unmarried people in bed? Are you trying to teach your children the sanctity of marriage? How can we do that when we are watching people exposed on tv--and often casually or in an affair? Marriage is something that should be treasured, but when tv spews it as something different, doesn't that make it seem like societal norm?
Now, if we take the time to protect our children from this societal TRASH, I would like to ask, "Why aren't we also protecting ourselves?" Aren't we our child's example? If we don't want our child involved in that trash, so why are we watching it?
Being in a devoted marriage-one that I am committed to make work (and yes if you look at Rob and I both coming form divorced families, statistically we are not supposed to make it) and having children, I have quickly realized that I need to make sure I don't allow anything to enter my household that could interfere with our standards. I also need to represent to my children, the type of person I want them to become. I don't want to be a hypocrite. I don't want to say to my children "stay loyal to your spouse" and yet watch shows full of cheating and sexual affairs.
Did you read the lyrics? It is a slow fade when you make those decisions. Do you really think someone who murdered another person did it out of the blue? Don't you think it took a LIFETIME of being unsheltered and being continually exposed to things that brought them to that point? Do you see how much of their life, their innocence was MURDERED before they then acted in the same way?
I realize that example is extreme, but think of it this way. When a little girl plays house, does she play house with multiple daddies in the picture? Of course not, but isn't that often today's reality. Over time, many of these little girls will watch the adults around them, tv, and their friends and then slowly fade over time to that dream of house with one devoted daddy. She will most likely give herself away instead of choosing to devote herself fully to that one man. She will settle for something less.
Several years ago, I made a choice to really reduce tv watching out of my life. I have never been happier. I have never felt more secure and loved. Yes, loved. I love myself enough not to expose myself to those evils of the world. My thoughts are not focused on how Jenny could have cheated on Bruce, or the horrible knife fight in the latest action movie. I watch 2 prime time tv shows-Survivor and Amazing Race. Rob and I also watch Food Network or HGTV. Seriously, I have never been happier. And my outlook on life has become all the better.
So there you go. And yes, for now my children are going to grow up in a lovey, dovey, fuzzy world--my bubble. And if that makes them more happy, confident and secure adults where they don't need to lower their standards and settle for less, then my job as a parent has been done. If you still think I am a kook--so be it. But I challenge you to take all of the "TRASH" out of your life for one month and see if you become more of a content person. If you don't take on the challenge, I feel you have no right to "pop" my bubble. So let me be where I can fully enjoy the pleasures God has given me. Speaking of which, here are 2 of them...
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