Week 7

Not a whole lot of excitement this week. I am learning how to juggle taking care of Kylan and the house at the same time. Kylan now becomes a part of each chore. Pictured above is him with his diapers fresh from the drier. He likes the journey from the drier in the laundry basket. I think he likes the warmth of the clothes.

Kylan smiles lots and lots. He also goes through mood swings. One minute he will be very happy the next he will be screaming. That is when we call him Mr. Grumpy Pants (or I should say that is what Rob calls him.) He usually will stop crying if you dance and sing with him. Dad sings him the worm song--which pretty much always works. I think it is his favorite. I am less original and will sing the ABC's or twinkle twinkle--or resort to the radio or CD's.

The biggest dilemma I currently have with Kylan is shopping. He hates it. He screams and everyone wants to ooh and ahh at him then. I don't get it. I have people in the grocery store following me to see him. They think he is so cute...I really don't think he is very cute when he is screaming and I can't hear myself think. They should come back when he is smiling. I think part of the problem with shopping is that he doesn't like his car seat. Most babies love the journey, but not Kylan (unless you are on a highway--then he is fine.)

I had to go to the dentis this week and left Kylan with Grandpa. I felt so bad. Kylan screamed the entire drive to his house and then fell asleep a block before we arrived. I dropped him off and apologized to Grandpa. I knew he was going to be a grump. Well, I got back to grandpa's late...and it turns out Kylan slept the entire time at Grandpa's. This is really odd. He will not sleep more than an hour for me at home, but he slept well over 2 hours at gramps. Hmmm...

First Ball Game (Week 6)

This is kind of a choppy blog, just summing up the adventures of week six.

Kylan went to his first Brewer Game on 7/25. The Brewers played the Pirates. Unfortunately, Kylan watched a very bad first game. Pirates won 6-1. Some people thought we were nuts for taking him, but he didn't really cry at all, and really seemed to enjoy looking at the crowd and listening to everything. We will take him again soon.

So six weeks. Kylan smiles a lot now. I will try to get more pics of him smiling, but I haven't been very good at doing that so far. He is also cooing and making lots of noises. He is growing so fast! Speaking of growing fast, I took him to the doc on Tuesday. He weighs 12 lbs 2 oz. When we took him for his 2 week appointment he was in the 25 percentile for his weight. He has now jumped to the 75 percentile (4 weeks later). He has almost doubled his weight since we brought him home and he was less than 6 1/2 pounds. He has really packed on the weight. We hope he slows down so that he can fit in his car seat for a while longer!! So the weight gain of course has earned him new nicknames, but I will refrain from putting them in the blog.

Here's a funny story...So the other day I was walking Kylan and Bear and this man walks up to me and says "Oh, how old is he?" And I say "Six weeks." Then he said, "Not the baby, the dog." The he totally ignored Kylan and was petting and cooing over Bear--this was a first.

Have I mentioned yet that Kylan can pretty much stand on his own. He needs my hands for balance of course, but he can really support all his weight on his legs and loves to stand. I will hold onto his hands and he will stand. It really is amazing, I am not sure I have ever seen a baby with this much strength at this age.

Last bit of valuable info. Kylan's baptism is now scheduled for August 27th. Preach is out of town now on the 20th so it had to be pushed back. Well that's all for now, until next week...Oh wait you are probably asking about the watermelon picture. Well-the boy likes melons, what can I say. You can ask his father about the watermelon aftermath if you are curious.

The scary side of parenting...

So the other night we had a scare with Kylan.

Kylan was getting his bath. We have a baby bathtub and a foam insert that allows the baby to stay out of the water. Well, it appears that the foam insert has worn a bit and is not as sturdy as it used to be (warning to those who may have gotten the foam insert.) Well, we were just finishing up the bath and had flipped Kylan over so we could scrub his back. Normally Kylan will turn his head or lift it off the foam insert, but this time he did not. In fact, he put his face straight down onto the foam insert. The insert had taken on water like a sponge (something we did not realize.) Kylan then breathed in the water and began choking. Actually, he wasn't breathing. Rob held him over the sink and patted his back. It was scary. Eventually (what seemed like years, but was actually only seconds), Kylan grabbed his breath.

The incident was not over though. His breath sounds were very shallow and he turned ghastly white. At that point we called 911. He was trying to cry, but he could not get a good wail out. By the time the fire truck arrived, Kylan was doing much better. He was crying and clearly very scared (probably due to our reactions, not the circumstance.) The paramedics listened to his chest and said it sounded very clear. They then informed us that often when you take water in, your throat will actually close up in order to help protect your lungs, which is probably what happened to Kylan.

So all is good, but it was very scary. In fact I don't think I really got over it until the next morning. I was up all night just making sure he was okay.

I didn't really want to post this, but the fact is things like this happen to all new parents. And, I want to be able to share all these stories with Kylan when he is bigger. This is his personal diary afterall.

All the things you want to know about having a baby...

This blog entry I have been working on over the past 4 weeks or so. I will add sections to it as I learn new things....so don't be surprised to see updates to this entry.

This morning at 6 AM, I was doing the usual thing--changing Kylan's diaper....and he was doing the usual thing...crying at the top of his lungs (he hates diaper changes.) Then I woke up....to Kylan crying. You know you do too much of something when you begin dreaming about it. The scary thing is, I wonder how long he was actually crying before my brain finally registered to wake up. Also it shows how exhausted I was, even though I went to bed at 10:30. This blog I dedicate to all the moms-to-be, moms-I-am and to myself when we have our second child (I am sure I will need reminders.)

YOUR NEW SCHEDULE

So in the beginning you are told to expect your newborn to sleep 16 - 18 hours a day. With that in mind, you should be thinking "oh--then I will have plenty of time to sleep and to get whatever I need done." Okay, so here is the reality. So let's say you follow everyone's advice and sleep when the baby sleeps. So you are aiming for that 16 - 18 hours a day. First of all, realize that every two hours, junior is going to wake up to be fed (normally---do realize that some days junior will want to eat every hour---Kylan has been doing so the last several days. Growth spurt time!)..

So let's say baby wakes up at 2. Well first you have to change him which can take anywhere from 5 - 15 minutes (depending on how bad it is and if the baby decides to poo or pee during the change or if the baby poops on the floor -- remember the explosive pooh log entry, if you have to change clothing in the process, clean area around etc....). So let's assume it is a good change. Time is now 2:05. Time to feed. Baby may take up to 45 minutes to feed and will take a minimum of 20 minutes. But first you must prepare yourself and get comfy. Let's assume a 30 minute feeding with 5 minutes to prepare. Time is now 2:40. Did I menton that baby slept through 20 minutes of the feeding??? Yes these creatures can eat and sleep at the same time. Time to burp. If your lucky baby will burp immediately. If you're not you may be burping for 10 minutes. (Did I mention baby is still sleeping through this?) Let's assume 5 minute burp time. Baby has now been down 25 minutes and the time is 2:45.

Now comes the trickiest part. Transferring junior to their bed without waking them up. So you ever so slowly get up. Of course this motion has probably disturbed junior, so now you do a little jig around the room to get baby back to sleep. Then you do the careful and very slow motion of putting junior in the bed and ever so slowly removing your hands. Of course, junior will probably wake up once again and so then you spend time patting, jiggling, singing--whatever activity is required to get baby to fall asleep again. This can take anywhere from 5 min (good day) to 2 hours (bad day---and also notice this is the next feeding time!). Let's assume you have a pretty good day. Baby is in bed 15 minutes after burping. Time is now 3:00. Baby has been sleeping alright for about 40 minutes. Now you're turn to sleep.

You hop into bed and are either dealing with one of three scenarios, getting back up to get baby back to sleep, listening to the loud grunts/cries (see sleeping section) of your child, or wondering if your baby is alright since you do not hear the loud grunts/cries of your child. Let's assume situation 2. It now takes you 20 minutes to get to sleep (time is 3:20). By then baby has been asleep for 1 hour. So two hour feedings ...right?! 4:05 you are woken up to start all over again. In that two hour period of time you got 45 minutes of sleep. So if you tried to sleep with your baby for the 18 hours they sleep, you would actually get maybe 8 hours of sleep in 45 minute intervals...sounds refreshing!!! Ahhh...

So what are you doing for the remaining 6 hours??? Well, remember ......Trying to calm babies cries, play with baby, eat some food, take a shower if you are lucky and do those other personal maintenance things, laundry (babies go through alot of clothes between eating and pottying), clean house, and deal with phone calls and visitors (everyone is excited about the new baby.)

BABY'S SLEEP

So let's talk a little more about baby's sleeping habits. First of all, where is the baby going to sleep? You say" in the crib of course!" NOT!!!! Baby only wants to be next to you. Hopefully you can put baby in a bassinett next to your bed. However, Kylan did not want to be anywhere but in bed next to mom for a while. You have to remember that baby has been used to the sound of your heart, your warmth, and cramped quarters for a while. They can also smell you. So they know when you are not in the room with them. People are really worried these days about cosleeping, but the fact is--as a new parent you are such a light sleeper anyway, you are not going to roll over on your child (remember 45 minute sleep increments). Plus if you are breastfeeding, it makes middle of the night feedings less exhausting (it's like a 24 hour diner!)

Kylan sleeps in the pack n' play now in our room. He is not ready to sleep in his own room yet.

So have you heard the saying "sleeping like a baby" to refer to someone who is really sound asleep. Well that term does not make sense when referring to an infant. Kylan is a very loud sleeper. In fact it has taken some work for us to sleep through all his noises. He grunts, groans, cries and moans all night in his sleep. And he moves! In fact, he will often wake himself up by poking himself in the eye. This is why you should swaddle (if your baby likes it). Kylan is not a fan. He needs to have his hands free. Anyway back to baby noises. So I timed Kylan's noises once. Every four minutes he was making some sort of noise. Learn to sleep through this, and don't let "crying" fool you. Unless he has a consitant cry for at least 30 seconds, he is asleep.

BREASTFEEDING

If you formula feed, this section probably is not for you...If you are a boy and reading about this bothers you, then skip to the next section. But first read this....Breasts were originally made to feed babies. Get over it!

So first of all you have to love the companionship and closeness that comes with breastfeeding. Despite the negative things that I write in this, I would not choose to feed my child any other way. It is just too wonderful of an experience. However, once again, there are many things that you are not aware of when it comes to breastfeeding. First of all, they tell you "breastfeeding should not hurt." Well here is the truth "Breastfeeding should not hurt after you have been doing it for a week or so and the baby has broken them in." The fact is you are going to be sore. It just takes some time to get used to. I highly recommend lanolin for the first week or so, and then you probably won't really need it anymore. Also, if your pretty full of milk, when the baby first latches you are going to feel a pinch.

Also with breastfeeding I have noticed that I get a lot more sore throats. I have been told this is actually pretty common. Just be sure to drink pretty fluids.

So here is the part that I find amusing and also frustrating at the same time. I get engorged. Especially by the morning (something else that is very common.) Often Kylan will start and get things flowing and then he will pull off. Then I am spraying everywhere! And it is hard to get him back on. Nobody told me about the spraying. Every day I feel sticky due to regular milk leakage or spraying. And Kylan gets sticky as well. I don't know how people go to work and pump. There is too often that I have milk everywhere and need to change clothing. KUDOS to them! This is also where having a leather couch or glider would be good (easy clean-up).

Funny story for the women--my Father-in-law is really weirded out by my breast milk. I had pumped and left it for him when he babysat. He called his wife and asked her how soon she was going to be home, so she could feed him.

Anyway--I highly recommend pumping and freezing. It is then easy to feed baby in situations that would otherwise be difficult. Plus it only takes a few minutes to prepare the bottle. Otherwise, I have breastfed in "public" and do not feel this should be an issue. I have also yet to receive any dirty looks. I must also say that I do feed very discreetly (blanket over baby and me.) I am waiting to get a dirty look one of these days, I know it will happen. But honestly, I don't care. The baby has gotta eat!

Here is something else that is of note. Beware if you are going to be away from the baby for long periods of time. YOU WILL NEED TO PUMP. Otherwise you will make yourself miserable, as well as let every person in the world know that you are breastfeeding. I wear layers if I know I am not going to breastfeed on my regular schedule. There is a very good chance of leakage.

DIAPER CHANGES

One of the most common mom topics is diaper changes. That is because you have at least 1-2 diaper adventures a day. In the beginning beware of the meconium. That is the icky black tar stuff that comes out of babies. It is really sticky. Try to change the baby right away (especially if you have a boy--otherwise it will get stuck to his testicles.)

Anyway, with breastfed babies, I hear they poop a lot more often. Kylan goes 8-12 times a day. You always know when he goes too. It is very audible. I should say EVERYONE knows when he goes. The nice thing about breastfed babies is that their poo really does not smell. It isn't enjoyable, but it isn't horrible like I hear formula fed babies are. So that's the facts, now here is the adventures.

First if you have a boy or girl be sure to cover the wee wee area when changing. BOTH BOYS AND GIRLS can spray you, themselves, the room, etc. They have very good distance. Even if you cover the wee wee area, still expect to have problems. Kylan has the ability to go right when you remove the cover from the wee wee area to put the new diaper on. In this split second he can soak himself or the changing table or floor. Once again if you have a breastfed baby--the good thing is their pee is sterile. So even when they pee on their own faces (which Kylan has done alot), you don't need to worry (same with their poo).

Okay so poo. First it is explosive and liquidy if you have a breastfed baby. This is how we know to beware of Kylan's explosive poo. If he is crying when you are changing him and suddenly stops, beware--he is setting you up! It also seems that many babies will wait until they are being changed to poo. I don't know why. Perhaps they enjoy our screams and the disgusted faces we make. Anyway, I really don't want to go into this subject too much more except to say-you really have to experience this to understand. Stories do not do it justice.

Cloth Diapers--
So we have decided to save the earth and go the route of cloth diapers (that and save money). I have purchased mother-ease one size diapers. These diapers are awesome! They fit newborns through 35 lb babies through a series of snaps. As your baby grows you move out snaps. Unfortunately they are a little more difficult to use when your baby is not eating solid foods since their poo is more liquidy, but it is still definitetly worth it. I am also using liners, so that once the poo is solid it will be easy to dispose of and leave little to no mess in the diapers. I highly recommend Mother-Ease diapers if you go the cloth route. I have 26 and wash every 2-3 days. I purchase my liners at tinytush.com--the liners are flushable so it is really easy to clean-up. I also use just regular rubber pants instead of fancy covers. They can be hard to find, but you can purchase 6 for $4 -$5 at Walmart when they have them.

One more thing to add, I have yet to have a leakage problem with these cloth diapers. When I had Kylan in disposables he would leak at least 3 times a week and make a mess of his clothes. That liquid poo gets pushed out of the diaper and is really gross--and we were using name brand (Pampers, huggies...). So I also feel that cloth are more reliable as well.

BUTT WIPE RECIPE

To save money on butt wipes you can make your own! I bought a bunch of baby rags, about 28 or so (you can buy packs of 8 for $3 at Walmart) and I have them folded in half and placed in an empty Huggies baby wipes container. The solution is for every one cup of water you mix in 1 tablespoon of baby wash and 1 tablespoon of oil. The oil can be baby oil, but it is better if you use cooking oil since that is natural (baby oil is not). Plus vegetable oil more easily washes out of cloth diapers. Any way, so you boil the water and then add it to the baby wash and oil. Mix up and poor over the rags. You can then wash the rags with the cloth diapers to reuse them. If you don't want to reuse the rags or you need to take some on the road you can cut a roll of paper towels in half, and pour the butt wipe mixture over it. Drain the excess water and now you have disposable wipes. How cool!
TRAVELING WITH BABY

This has been our latest adventure. We packed twice as many baby clothes as days. Just in case he ruined one outfit per day. We also packed his bouncy chair. This chair has saved us more than once from a very grumpy baby. I also made sure to take a breast pump, some bottles, formula (just in case), LOTS OF DIAPERS --disposable is best when traveling, sunblock, blankets, burp cloths and Pak n' Play ( something every mom should have.) Kylan slept very well in his car seat on the 5 + hour journey. In fact we only had to make one stop to feed and change. The journey went very well and at this time, I don't think I have any additional advice.

5 weeks and counting...

Okay--so you have to agree that he is just adorable. These are his 5 week pics. Kylan does a pretty good job at holding his head up now. He gave his first social smile at 4 1/2 weeks. And shortly after that he had begun to make cooing noises (something more than cries, grunts, and farts! YEAH!) His hair is continuing to thin--he is going to be my little baldy....He also is dealing with infant acne. All very normal and common at this age. I think at this point Kylan probably weighs over 10 lbs. He still fits in his 0-3 month clothes, but they are getting much tighter. I still remember the first day we took him home at four days old. His outfit was so big on him. Now it fits just fine.

Rob and i have a lot of fun playing for Kylan. You will see what I mean in future posts. We figure that if Kylan can't do things on his own that we will help him. We figure it helps ease him into the real world a little better.

Things have been going well for all three of us. Rob has been getting more frustrated with the lack of interest in our house. I, however, am keeping my focus on Kylan that way I can't get too frustrated. Hopefully we will move soon. All in God's time.

Kylan's baptism is tentatively scheduled for August 20th. We wished we could do an earlier date, but this is just how it has worked out. Hopefully he will get over his fear of water by then, otherwise the congregation will be holding their ears. Our good friends Liz and Adam have agreed to be his godparents. He is so blessed to have them in his life. They are wonderful people and I know they will be good mentors to him. Alrighty..that's it for now..time to hit the sack--Kylan is already there...

I am one month old! Pics...

I am one month old!

Today Kylan is one month old...

Let's see, what updates do we have. Well--first of all Kylan is just as beautiful as ever. It is amazing how quickly he has changed in the past four weeks. Just scroll through the pics and see for yourself. He has gained a ton of weight and has grown in length. Still only sleeps 3 hours max at a time, but hopefully that will change soon.

Right now Kylan is very sensitive about his receding hairline. (See pic below and compare to earlier pics.) We have reassured him many times that this is a normal thing for babies, and that it will all come back in due time. However, he insists on wearing hats whenever we go anywhere.

I am amazed by the amount of perfect strangers that now come up to us and start conversations. In fact neighbors that I have walked by for two years without even a "hello" have now suddenly gotten the guts to come and talk to us. He is quite the conversation starter.

Other new changes--I have to log an extra 1 hour to "getting ready time" if I have to go somewhere with Kylan. You never know what is going to happen. It seems that lately, Kylan has figured out whenever I have just changed my clothes. This is the time he chooses to spit-up on me. And the funny part is--he rarely spits up--pretty much just when I have just changed to go somewhere. Then of course you have to add in extra time to change him--since he has most likely spit up on himself as well--or if not he has managed to leak something out of his diaper.

My life has definitely changed. Whether or not I get something done in the day, depends on if Kylan wills it. I can't imagine single parents having kids or even teens having kids. I am so happy when Rob gets home, just so I can shower or enjoy a nap without the worries of time constraint.

Anyway, my little boy is growing up very fast. He now seems to enjoy his baths more. He gazes into my eyes as he nurses and has a gleam in his eye when he is enjoying himself. He does smile a fair amount, but they aren't quite the social smile that babies have when they are purposeful. However, he will smile when I call his name and touch his cheek . Well that is all for now...but lots more pics for everyone to enjoy..

Okay this post will not let me put up pics--I don't know why...but look above for the pics...and here is commentary...

Kylan has grown lots, but still can't fit into daddy's pants.
Kylan in blue is sporting his receding hairline...

Sorry It's been a while since I have posted. I came down with a pretty bad cold and then--of course--shared a much milder version of it with Kylan-poor kid!

We are doing much better now. He was a trooper and is continuing to grow very quickly. Be sure to read the next post for Kylan updates.

First week home

There has not been a dull moment since Kylan has come home. We have learned so much from him.

We have learned that Kylan has super powers. First of all, he knows when we are not in the room with him. For example, he refuses to sleep in his bedroom. Even if we put music on for him or lights, he knows that we are not there. However, if he is in our bedroom in his pack n’ play, he is fine—even though he cannot see or hear us.

He also has what Mark and Ang coined as “explosive poo.” After the first day home with us, Kylan knew exactly when we were changing his diaper and was able to perfectly plan when he would poop/pee. Rob and I even had a technique down, where we would quickly cover his lil’ pencil once we removed the old diaper. However, Kylan would still manage to take advantage of that split second to pee (usually on himself.) (This reminds me—I don’t think we mentioned when Rob changed him at the hospital his first day of life and little Kylan managed to pee on his own face.) The explosive poo is much worse than the pee. When Kylan takes a dump, he covers as much of a radius as he can. WATCH OUT!!! Yeah—this was not much fun. I think in the series of two days he had managed to stain six outfits. (Now we know we are real parents, when our conversation leads to our child’s pee and poop habits.)

Kylan can also already manage to roll over on his side. We don’t know if his center of gravity is off or if he really has the muscles to move himself. He will only sleep on his back if he is very VERY tightly swaddled.

The doc also showed us that Kylan has the strength to scoot himself forward if placed on his stomach. Yes—super powers…We choose to believe our child is just advanced.

Have I mentioned yet how much Kylan likes to grunt. Yes, grunt. Sometimes he sounds like a goat, other times he sounds like an old man. Continual grunting—when he’s awake or asleep. I like it. Rob wishes Kylan would sleep soundly.

I have to say, I am really impressed by how little he cries. He may make a pathetic sob sound from time to time, but otherwise he cries very little. It is like he knows that it’s not worth the effort. We will come and get him and try to figure out what he needs. He is very mellow. I don’t think we could have asked for a better kid.

Let’s see..other updates….When we left the hospital with Kylan on Sunday, June 11th, he weighed 6 lbs 7 oz. At his appointment on Tuesday June 13th, he weighed 6 lbs. 13 oz. Tomorrow we go back..and I am sure he is around 7 ½ pounds.

We have given Kylan two baths as well since we have come home. The most recent (today) gave him his first rash. We were a bit concerned, but it quickly faded. I think it was from his new towel. Mental note—wash all clothing, towels, rags before using on infant.

Okay--that's all for now....

Thank yous...

I want to say a quick thank you to all the phone calls and cards and presents. I am sorry I haven’t responded (including thank you notes from the shower), but I will soon! It is just taking some time to adjust to things—and we are trying to get sleep when we can! I figure by at least trying to update the blog, we can let everyone know how things are going/went in a more efficient way. Expect to hear from me soon!

Oh yeah—as promised more pics….

June 7th - a different view

I’ve been meaning to write something on the blog for a while, so that it isn’t always Jess writing about us, so what better thing to write about than my view of Kylan’s birth day, June 7th? The most obvious thing is that it was more of an outside perspective because the dad doesn’t really “do” anything – if you’re a control freak, this isn’t the experience for you because you have no control over anything!

We went to the hospital around 9:00 on Tuesday night and definitely dragged our feet. Jess was a little scared about being induced and had to deal with that during the day. We also hadn’t slept at all because the doc said Jess should be able to sleep that night at the hospital. So surprise #1 was getting settled in and being told that during the day Dr. Goldman had apparently changed her mind and decided to give Jess an accelerated drip of Pitocin = no sleep that night. The good news (we thought) was that the baby should arrive by early Wednesday morning. The next unpleasant surprise was that Jess would basically be bedridden and had to stay permanently hooked to a blood pressure cuff which would automatically take her BP every 15 minutes. There went most of Jess’ plans to help get through labor – sitting in the jacuzzi tub, walking the halls, frequently changing positions, etc. And I wouldn’t fully realize it until later, but there went my opportunity to “coach” and be somewhat involved. Throughout all of our birthing classes and reading materials, everything talks about the dad being a coach and helping mom through it. But once Jess was basically tied to the bed, most of that went out the window. (Did I mention yet that Jess was NOT a big fan of the breathing exercises we’re supposed to do? She felt they were a waste of time and that she’d find her own way of breathing through contractions. So we didn’t bother learning the breathing exercises together.)

Around midnight, there wasn’t much progress and Jess was trying to get a little sleep. She encouraged me to go ahead and take a nap until she got farther into labor. I drifted into sleep – I woke up periodically to the nurse checking in but would fall back asleep. When I woke up for real it was 6:30 in the morning and Jess still hadn’t progressed much. She said the contractions hadn’t gotten painful yet. Just before 7, the doc came and broke her water. She was 2-3 cm. dilated and 70% effaced at this point, but we assumed that now things would start to pick up, and the nurse gave her guess that the baby should be born in between 5 and 7 that evening.

Her contractions did progress throughout the day and around noon started getting pretty heavy. By 3:00 they were much worse and Jess started to consider something for the pain. She was starving and sleep deprived and was having a really hard time. Even though I can’t relate to labor, that was something we can all relate to. Any time you have a big physical ordeal, two of the biggest things that can help give you a second wind are food and sleep. In this case, one wasn’t allowed (food) and one was impossible (sleep). It also didn’t help that at each shift change the new nurse was less empathetic than the previous, and the one at this point was the least helpful. Jess really broke down a few times here and this was when I really felt helpless and useless. I couldn’t do many of the coaching things that I had learned and Jess didn’t really want any of the things I could have done – putting pressure against her back, wet cloths on her face, massaging, etc. At this point, she said that she could handle the pain but it was not knowing how much longer that was killing her and she didn’t know if she had energy to handle several more hours. Once again, there was nothing for me to do.

Finally Jess decided to have her dilation checked so she knew how far she was – she was VERY afraid that she couldn’t deal with the answer if she hadn’t dilated much, but I pointed out that if she forced herself to go through 2 more hours and then found out that she hadn’t progressed, it would be even worse. (If it’s bad news, don’t wait …)

When she was checked, her fears were realized – only 4-5 cm. dilated and 70% effaced after all that time and Pitocin. In retrospect, it’s obvious that Jess somehow knew inside that she hadn’t progressed and that’s why she was scared to check. But now she knew for sure, and after a lot of tears and thinking, decided to get the epidural. She needed rest more than anything and that’s the only thing that could help. My only real contribution came at these times because I asked a lot of questions about everything and tried hard to remember everything that happened – Jess was a little out of it and couldn’t do that.

The epidural was a huge step for Jess because she has a real problem with getting a needle in her back – and I didn’t realize how hard it was for her until the epidural was going in. She was absolutely miserable and said it was worse than any contraction. But she got through it and it was for the best – she immediately relaxed and knew she’d get through everything OK. But the good part didn’t last because at 5:00 she was still only 4-5 cm. dilated. I think a cesarean was starting to enter both of our minds, but we didn’t say it yet. At 7:00 the doc came and Jess was 5-6 cm. dilated and mostly effaced, but only 1 cm. of progress in 4 hours. They could also tell that the baby was looking up, which needed to change. Dr. Goldman finally brought up the C word and said it was a good possibility. She increased the Pitocin dosage one more time and said she’d give things one more hour to change.

Now we prayed. I didn’t want a c-section any more than Jess did, but maybe for different reasons. Jess’ biggest concerns were wanting to see the birth, to hold our baby immediately, and that she just wanted the natural childbirth experience. I understood that, but my biggest concern was that this is a major surgery, and all major surgeries have some degree of risk. I hadn’t wanted to imagine her going through that, or even to consider the risky aspect. So we prayed about it, hoping that natural birth would work out but preparing for the opposite. I also prayed for Jess to be at peace – she’d mentioned that a c-section wouldn’t be as satisfying for her and that she might not even feel like she really “gave birth”. So I wanted that to be taken from her mind.

At 8:30 the doctor came back – Jess was unchanged – so a c-section became official. Jess had to sign the paperwork that comes with every surgery – “it’s not the hospital’s fault if you die”. That made it so much more freaky for me – I knew it’s the same papers we sign for any surgery (getting wisdom teeth pulled), but the whole situation just made it more scary. Jess was very distraught – she asked me not to call anyone to tell them what was going on. I tried to comfort and reassure her, especially to get rid of her thought that it might be her fault - she didn’t do anything to cause a c-section.

They gave me scrubs to change into (and a hairnet and facemask) and began prepping Jess for surgery. The epidural now was a godsend because they could use that as the anesthetic for the surgery. Too soon, they took Jess away – and left me behind, saying they’d come get me in 5 minutes after the anesthesiologist got her ready. After 10 minutes, I was starting to feel uneasy and around 15 minutes I was a little panicked. I finally asked a nurse if the delay was normal and she said it was because the anesthesiologist was late getting there – that was a little reassuring. Just after that, they came and took me to her.

I sat by her head behind the curtain so neither of us could see what they did. All I could do was hold her hand (her arms were strapped down, more freakiness), stroke her head, and talk with her. So I was still only there – I just wanted to help her somehow in a way that felt real or tangible – but I couldn’t. Jess seemed very shaky and she could feel them inside of her even though it wasn’t pain. She would tell me when they were pulling or tugging and knew when they were finally about to pull him/her out. Then we heard “It’s a boy!” and he cried right away! I saw them carry him to the warmer and it was very surreal. He was still covered in blood and fluids and I couldn’t believe that was our son, right there. (In the background, I heard them say “time of birth – 9:17 p.m.) I tried to move so Jess could see him but she couldn’t get a very good view. I went over and lightly stroked his head, but wasn’t sure if I was supposed to touch him while they were working on him. Finally they brought him to Jess so she could look at him, but that was it – now they were taking him to the nursery to be examined and make sure he was all good. This was the decision time – we both wanted to be with him right away, but I didn’t want to leave Jess alone to get sewed up. I asked and they told me that once I left the operating room I couldn’t go back in, so would have to wait until she got back to our room. She decided for me - go with him – so I did but it was hard and I felt horrible. I just felt that someone should be with her until everything was over and I didn’t do that ...

But I did get to be with our unnamed baby boy for the first hour of his life! Right away I saw how beautiful he was – not all newborns look cute, but ours does! In the nursery, I finally made sure that I could touch him even though he was still being checked up, so I just stroked his head and held his hand while they worked. I got to feel the vernix caseosa which was still all over his skin – it’s a lot like very thick lotion, maybe Crisco is the best comparison. He was weighed (7 lb 2.8 oz), measured (19 in.), got his temperature taken. Then they did footprints and I remembered to get his baby book and put them there as well. After that I finally got to hold him and just walked around the nursery with him for a while – I don’t know how long. I gave him my pinkie and discovered that his sucking reflex was great even though he hadn’t been able to nurse yet. In a little while, they wanted to give him his first bath – so I watched that and took notes (in my head). Then they thought he needed to go back under the warmer for a while, so I was back to watching him.

Jess was finally back in the room so I could check on her. She was very groggy and said that the “fixing her up” after he was born was worse than the birth - and she was so tired. (Later on she told me more about her time after I left the operating room but not right away.) They had given her Demarol so she was very out of it. A few minutes later she was finally able to meet our baby, which was awesome to watch! She got so much happier, even after everything, and also attempted his first nursing. After only about 15 minutes they took him back to the warmer. Jess was OK with that, so I knew she was absolutely wiped out and just needed to sleep.

After all that, I finally called family to let them know the news – only grandparents, everyone else had to wait. And then I went back in to check on our son until they brought him back to the room – we both held him a little more (Jess woke up) and then let him go back to the nursery for the night. So ends June 7th – hey, it looks like I wrote more than Jess normally does – they always said I talk a lot (ask my family)!

June 8th

Shortly after midnight I passed out. At 5:30 AM, I awoke to a nurse checking my vitals. I asked her about the baby and she informed me that the staff had spent much of the night clearing fluids from his lungs and he had just fallen asleep. She said it was best not to wake him and to wait for him to wake himself. Afterall, he had had a rough last few days as well. I remember trying to move at this point, but was unable to do so. Besides the pain in my abdomen, my legs still felt flimsy from all the drugs. They had set me up with this painkiller button that would give me a hit each time I pressed it. Unfortunately I was only allowed one hit every ten minutes. (Let me tell you I pressed it a lot, but felt little relief.) I then dozed off again.

By 10:00 Rob and I were both up and discussed names for the baby. We had about 4 different possibilities. I told Rob that I needed to see him again before we could name him. We would then know what name would best fit him. It wasn’t until 10:30 that the nurse finally brought him in. Holding him in my arms was wonderful. We instantly knew his name as well. KYLAN.

Rob and I had really liked the Hawaiiian name KAI—meaning ocean. However the name Kai is often mispronounced “Kay”. We had seen the gaelic name Kylan in passing recently and figured this was actually a very good alternative. Kylan comes from the name Kyle—and thus we could also still call him Ky—where the “Y” would be understood as a long “I”. So the name Kylan has a variety of meanings. Coming from KYLE –it means handsome. It also means Church, wood, or a narrow strait. Since our boy is very handsome we like the Kyle derivative.

We had had a middle name already picked out, but I told Rob that I wanted to change it to a name that started with “J”. That way Ky could go by “KJ” if he wanted to. I mentioned James, but Rob mentioned Jacob. He liked the name Jacob. I liked Jacob as well, I just don’t like it as a first name where he could be called Jake. (Makes me think of Jake the Snake Roberts---Old School WWF.) So Jacob became his middle name.

Kylan Jacob Schnake.

I’m not going to go into too much descriptive details of my recovery. However, I willl say that I never want to go through surgery again. And having your abdomen cut open sucks. Everything you do involves your abdominal muscles, so every movement is felt.

I do want to mention my very impressive 13 staples, though. Yes—they actually stapled me shut. I now know that if I am with someone who has a serious laceration I could just staple them shut to help stop the bleeding….hmmm….

Anyway—it was almost 72 hours before I was able to eat again. YEAH FOOD!!! However after having my intestines and stomach moved around, I honestly was not that hungry. They finally removed my IV on day 4, which was also wonderful to see go. There is nothing like dragging around a rack of fluids each time you need to use the restroom.

Kylan was WONDERFUL!!! He would get a little fussy at night, but otherwise he was an angel during the day. He caught on to nursing rather quickly as well.
We stayed in the hospital until Sunday—Day 6 of our delivery adventure. They removed the staples then and packaged my incision with steri-strips. I was also given very specific instructions telling me that I pretty much shouldn’t do or lift anything heavier than Kylan for six weeks. They were pretty specific…in fact on one sheet it told me not to vacuum. So now rob has become the official housekeeper....

Well, I am going to end this entry here. The next entry I will update with our first few days at home….Here are some more pics of our little sunshine.

June 7th

So much has happened since we last had computer access. We just got home last night, Sunday- June 11th. So I figured I would just create a blog for each day since June 6th. (that way we can include lots of pics and tell of what happened.) I am using this blog to not only update friends and relatives, but as a diary for us.

So, on June 6th, Robby and I arrived at the hospital at 9:00 pm for our 8:00 pm appointment. (we were a bit scared and drug our feet.) The nurse was very nice and promised not to tattle on us. So she got me settled in with a very painful IV ( She couldn't find the vein--OUCH!), and told me she was going to get me started on the full dose of pitocin.

This is when Robby and I argued with the nurse--Dr. Goldman had told us that she was going to start us off on a slow drip, so I could sleep through the night. Apparently, she had changed her mind. This also sucked since I was exhausted and knew that I needed every possible wink of sleep. This is when she was given the name "Evil Dr. Goldman."

The nurse also told us that with the fast drip, we may have a baby by morning. So we quickly called all the relatives and let them know.

So throughout the night I was up, though attempted to doze. I had some good contractions (not very painful) and was constantly monitored by the nurse and blood pressure machine.

By 7:00 AM there was no sign of baby. The doc came in and said I was 3 cm. dilated and 70% effaced (not much progress.) She then broke my water, to get things going. The next nurse said that there was a good chance I would have the baby by 7PM and so once again we called all the relatives and let them know. The contractions definitely increased in severity, but what really sucked was the fact that I was bedridden. My blood pressure was too high so they would only let me out of bed for 15 minutes at a time. By 12:30 the contractions became the strongest I had experienced and I was getting exhausted. It was my choice to find out how far along I was, but I did not want to be disappointed if I was only 4 or 5 cm dilated. By 3pm I was in tears, they were keeping me in bed and the contractions were dealable, but I needed sleep or food. I was exhausted, i had only gotten 1-2 hours of sleep in 31 hours--oh and what is most important is that I hadn't eaten anything in 20 hours. I was starved! I begged for some food, but they said no. So I asked to find out how far I was. The nurse came in and checked and said that I was 4-5 cm dilated and 70% effaced. I was making very little progress and at this rate the baby would not be born until the next day. The nurse told me if I got an epidural I would at least be able to sleep--so that is what i did and I don't think I will ever get another one again (unless put in the same situation.)--Please don't ask for the details---

So by 4 PM, I was resting somewhat comfortably and dozing. At 5 pm I was checked again and was still at 4-5 cm dilated. At. 7 pm I was checked again and was 5-6 cm and 90% effaced, but the doc said that things were going too slow, and now the baby was showing some signs of distress. It appears that the baby had it's head tilted up which was preventing it from coming down. The baby was located at zero station. She said that she would up my pitocin one last time and check back at 8:30.

I have to say my plans for labor had been almost completely ruined at this point. I was really bummed and Rob and I spent some time praying for a natural birth. I wanted to see my child arrive in the world and I wanted to be able to bond with him/her from the start.

At. 8:30, I still had not progressed and quick action for a c-section was taken. They wheeled me in the room and some doc named Ronan kept asking me to name my child after him. (I was emotionally a mess--and this is what I remember.) By 9:00 they were hacking into me. I asked if I could watch, but they would not let me. It is so weird, the feeling of being cut and not feeling the pain....I knew when they were pulling the baby out because I could feel the tugging on my skin and the release. The baby cried immediately and they said "It's a boy." They took him over to the warmer and I could see his little feet. With my insistance, Rob went with the baby to the nursery to make sure he was okay. The aftermath of the c-section was the worse. I would rather not say--but let me tell you I don't want to go through that again.

So a boy--I was anxious to see him. Rob and I did not have a boy's name picked out so this was going to be interesting. (Also at this point the relatives knew nothing of what had happened.) I asked Rob not to call anyone. I did not want other people to see my baby before I could.

So Baby Boy Schnake was born at 9:17 PM on June 7th, 2006. He weighed 7 lbs. 2 oz and was 19 inches long.

I held him briefly that night and attempted to nurse, but I was very exhausted (I had lost a lot of blood and was on a lot of drugs) so I honestly don't remember too much. I know Rob wanted to discuss names, but I pushed it off and fell into a deep DEEP sleep.

37 weeks 2 days...

And here he/she comes.

As of tomorrow we will be parents. Yes, we are terrified!!!

We went to the docs today, my blood pressure is really high 144/94. I gained 6 pounds of water in 4 days. Doc says it is pre-eclampsia and time to induce. (Go figure on the one of two dates that I didn't want the baby to come.) But the doc has assured me that it is very unlikely that I will have the baby today. Probably, tomorrow. So, tonight I will go in and be induced--hopefully I will sleep well and tomorrow will be labor pains and a baby.

Keep track of the blog for updates and pics...

36 week pictures

So here are a few pics from my mother's day gift from Rob. We have these and many more in color and black & white. These were taken last Sunday--so at 36 weeks. And yes, I have been blessed!--NO STRETCH MARKS!!!!